Karlsson to be Deported from US

It seems to be quite obvious for everyone that Americans are crazy about creating problems that do not actually exist. At that, the whole of the nation is preoccupied with solution of these problems. If some people still doubt that Americans are crazy, they should consider the recent innovations in the US children upbringing system.

  The problem is that authorities of several of American states have issued legislations according to which the popular story by Astrid Lindgren Karlsson vom Dach (Karlsson Living on Roof) is to be excluded from the curriculum. Being pressed by public organizations fighting for "correct" children's literature, American lawmakers stated the following. "The personage of Karlsson sets a negative example for juniors as he urges them to disobedience and violation of traditions; he is also an active disturber of order and violator of laws. This book may suggest asocial and destructive behavior to children which in its turn will pose danger to the American mode of living. What is more, another character of the book, Frecken Bok, is an example of a governess inclined to sadism. This fact produces a negative image of the social group consisting of baby-sitters and housewives. This image disagrees with the standards of politically correct art. In connection with the above mentioned facts, the book by Astrid Lindgren must be excluded from the school curriculum and cannot be recommended for supplementary reading."

  So, this means the last flight for Karlsson in the US. And Karlsson is not the only anxiety of Americans who are so crazy about political correctness in everything. Nowadays, the US is thoroughly revising all fairy tales so heartily loved by all children. Have you ever guessed that Bremen Town Musicians is the book that inculcates the habit for vagrancy in children? In fact, staging of the story was prohibited in Memphis for this very reason.

  Remember The Brave Tin Soldier by Andersen? Americans have managed to find faults with this story as well. They say that the story is bad because it tells about an invalid (remember, the soldier had one leg only) and the whole of the narration had no happy end at all. A conclusion was made that the story humiliated the social group of invalids. The US censorship strongly believes that the hero of the story must have two legs like all normal people or the ending of the story must be changed to make it agree with the US political correctness.

  Everybody knows that the abbreviation PC stands for "personal computer" in Russia, while the same abbreviation means "political correctness" in the US. And Americans have become incredibly crazy about this political correctness. The whole of the US knows that Russell Crowe, the actor who played a schizophrenic mathematician in A Beautiful Mind; however, everybody agrees that Denzel Washington is a better candidate for Oscar as he is black, an Afro-American, as the PC laws state. It turns out nowadays that Oscars are conferred to actors not because of their artistic talent but according to political correctness. So, next year it would be better to give the award to some Latin American actor or better even an invalid. This would be a perfect consolationfortwoAmericans social groups at once. So, white actors will have to stand in a long line for the award.

  Have you ever heard of a an American society called For Equal Rights in Animated Cartoons? One of its Charter's items says: "We will seek remake of the Disney cartoon Snow White and Seven Dwarfs where black and aboriginal Americans will be represented equally." What does it mean? According to the PC regulations, three out of the seven dwarves must be white, two – black, there should be one Latin and one American Indian (an aboriginal American, in other words). Many people may say that this crazy idea will never be carried out. However, US computer games producers have been observing the PC laws in practice for a rather long period already. Some of the positive characters in computer games must be black, criminals in this case must be obligatorily white not to humiliate Afro-Americans and at least half of policemen must be black too. Majority of good fairies and magicians in computer games are black; it has become a tradition in the US that black movie or computer game characters may not be negative as this disagrees with the PC.

  In Texas, a special law was passed long ago according to which policemen are obliged to fill in a special form for every violator of traffic regulations to see if black drivers enjoy less rights as compared with white ones or not. US lawmakers cannot think of the idea that "representatives of the Afro-American minority" may violate the law oftener than white Americans. So, in many cases, policemen have to let black violators of the traffic regulations go unpunished.

  This practice of sticking to the nationality principle has become really dangerous. For instance, authorities in some states by force settle black families in those parts of the cities where white families traditionally live. As a result, the crime rate and drug addiction increase in these areas, but at the same time the nationality equality is observed.

  This is quite OK when PC activists fight for human rights. Nowadays, societies fighting for civil rights of animals appear in the US. These are not organizations that call for humane attitude toward animals and insist that not a single animal may suffer while making films. Civil rights are the rights to work, to rest and the freedom of personality. These new societies fight for civil rights of apes that scientists use in their intellectual experiments. They say that if a monkey distinguishes a green square from a red triangle it may chose and can take part in US president election. And this is not a joke! What is more, they add that this animal (Americans call it an anthropoid) that can force a box with bananas with the help of a screwdriver is very close to people in its development. Consequently, this animal cannot be caged and has the right to choose where and how to live. Conferences and meetings of fighters for the rights of anthropoids have become frequent; the US press sympathizes with chimpanzees that are widely discriminated in the US. Will it agree with "political correctness" to allow monkeys to participate in elections?

Source: Duel