The USSR won the war, because the Germans did not know the correct way to relieve themselves

The Wermacht’s instructions were found in the archives by Aleksey Kirichenko, a scientist from the Institute of Asian Studies of the Russian Academy of Sciences. It is known that the translation of the instructions were put on Stalin’s table on May of 1942. They say that Stalin laughed his head off, and then realized that the Germans would lose the war.

“The command for urination was “Relieve yourselves!” When the urine stream comes out, a man makes a one-eighth turn to the right and steps his leg aside in this position in order to prevent it from spattering on his clothes. The urine stream is like a parabola, on which the urine stream goes, cutting the discharge canal in the so-called point of spattering. After urination, a man stands still for a certain period of time and then makes a step back.

Relieving oneself is usually performed in a sitting position. A man lifts the rear parts of the clothes up and then squats down, until the buttocks touch the toilet seat. The body weight is distributed over both of the buttocks equally. The upper part of the body is bent a little forward, the elbows rest on the soft muscles of the front part of the legs,and the eyes look straight ahead. After relieving the himself, a man stands up, making a one-eighth turn to the left, lifts up the rear part of the butt, takes the toilet tissue with a thumb and a point finger of the right hand, and moves it between the buttocks, slightly pressing on the tissue. It is not allowed to eat, sleep, lie down, or take gifts during the stay in the closet.”

Translated by Dmitry Sudakov