Three Essential Novels That Reveal Who People Really Are

This Author no longer bothers with mentoring anyone – particularly women.

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A book on a rainy day

After several (as in, MANY) decades of having youngsters approach me for advice, the Drama is always the same…Here are some Drafts of the Screenplay:

Take One – Get Lost!

Dim Young Thing: I want to be a writer!

Incorrigibly Handsome Guy: *sigh*…Are you a reader?

DYT: What do you mean?

Guy: Books. Do you read them? Actual, physical, substantial books.

DYT: Of course!

Guy: Hurrah!…which ones?

DYT: Er, um, well…I love “Harry Potter”!

Guy: *slams door*

Take Two – Get Edumuhcated!

Dim Young Thing: I want to be a writer!

Astoundingly Debonair Guy: *sigh*…Are you a reader?

DYT: Obviously!

Guy: Huzzah!…what?

DYT: Oh…everything!

Guy: *slams door*

(Remember, per Thalberg, movies aren’t made…they’re RE-made.)

Take Three – Get Wrung

Dim Young Thing: I want to be a writer!

Startingly Charming Guy: *sigh*…Are you a reader?

DYT: Yes.

Guy: Humph!…what?

DYT: *nervous laughter*

Guy: Alright, I’ll make it simple. Dickens? (It’s always “A Christmas Carol”…sometimes “Great Expectations”…seldom “Tale Of Two Cities”….never “Little Dorrit”…) Kipling? (They saw “The Jungle Book” once…also, he’s a raaaiiiccciiisss.) Waugh? (They’ve heard, once I mention it, of “Brideshead Revisited”…but never watched it…)

DYT: I’m more “into” (NOTE: slang, outside of being cheeky, is a signifier of ignorance) “modern” novels.

Guy: *sigh…ING* Very well then…have you at least read Capote? (If she mentions “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” I generally take this opportunity to pop her viscously in the jaw.) Vonnegut? (No, but she liked his “Wear Sunscreen” Commencement Address…which he never gave.) Barrico? (Who, she mutters?)

*SLAMS DOOR*

Pravda Readers Get A Special Dispensation

In the immortal words of Roseanne Barr, “I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people…that’s why I don’t like any of them”.

Even so, exceptions can be made. As I work for Pravda on a Lolly-Commissioned Basis there is ample reason for Your Humble Correspondent to be magnanimous.

Hence, while I rebel against informing you HOW to be a writer, I will tell you how to KNOW people.

Unfortunately, the challenge will be for you to find even pseudo-intellects; as poseurs do proliferate.

To the extent you locate a living, breathing, non-conformant it is suggested to provide the following then follow-up with a quiz.

Novel #1 – The Razor’s Edge

This is about a man searching for meaning in his life. That’s all you’re going to get from me, Chum. Only I will casually drop if you enjoy biographies of those birthed after 1945 almost everyone unique jots down words to the effect, “I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do in this world…until I read ‘The Razor’s Edge.’”

How to note the imbeciles? If they admire Isabel by the end…they’re a moron. Dump them but quick.

Novel #2 – A Room With A View

Similarly, this is a novel which regards the choices we make on our way, the consequences we suffer, and the extent to which others are allowed to define the path for us.

If you lend it out and your apprentice only grazes past the first chapter and claims “I couldn’t get into it.” then dust them off promptly.

Novel #3 – Lost Horizon

Crucially, here is a novel about the pursuit of significance. It concerns a man who is unwillingly birthed into a situation he initially rejects but comes to discover has a hidden vitality all its own.

When someone replies, “Isn’t that a children’s book?” you need to retreat with caution – then sprint away!

There’s Hope Yet

That is, in a manner of speaking.

There is certainly no hope for this country, the entity formerly known as The United States.

There is definitely no hope for Humanity, which is on verge of a mass die-off Genghis would be proud.

There is frankly no hope for the future in general, because for every good man a million bad ones exist.

Nevertheless, if you are reading this it would seem there MAY BE some kind of tenuous hope somewhere.

To that end, I wish you buona fortuna in your literary adventure.

Guy Somerset writes from somewhere in America