Enchiridion for Epstein – Sound Ways of Salacious Suppression

Good Morning, Class!

Photo: commons.wikimedia.org by TonyIocca13F, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

44 Epstein didn't kill himself

Welcome to Epstein Week and Session 201 in Whitewashing your bosses' dirty deeds.

If you allow me, we shall review from our previous meeting before we commence.

To Refresh Newcomers — The Epstein Files — What Happened

1. Trump and Surrogates claimed for two years the Epstein Files would be released.
2. Trump AG, Pam Bondi, on February 21, 2025, claimed the Epstein Files to be "on her desk”.
3. Trump AG, Pam Bondi, on February 27, 2025, held a "Binder Stunt” of false revelations.
4. Trump AG Bondi, FBI Dir Patel, FBI Dep Dir Bongino, on July 7, 2025, ALL sign off on "Nothing Here” memo.
5. Trump, on July 8, 2025, chastises a reporter for "still” asking questions about the Epstein Files.

Since the last notation, things have only become worse. Despite Bondi, Patel and Bongino EACH agreeing to "closing” the Epstein Files issue, they are now tangling and targeting one another.

More Republican Nonsense

1. The video released to "prove” Epstein was not murdered is missing a minute, which is "easily explained” by the tape resetting every night…which only means that is PRECISELY when I would do it…first question you ask when cracking a safe?…What type of safe? What are its flaws? Where is the weak spot?…A missing minute is more than enough for a "Midnight visit”.
2. Worse, the Technophiles at Wired made out the video had been altered. The tape was indeed NOT the "raw data” everyone was promised, but instead transferred multiple times and even been edited…for "reasons” *cough* *cough*…
3. THEN, as of this week, other Technoexperts have claimed the video is not ONE video but was compiled from TWO videos, making it not suspicious at all, you guise. If this is actually the case such a tape would inadmissible in Court due that fact.
4. Finally, on July 14, 2025, the House Rules Committee voted on whether to allow the full Congress to vote on releasing the entire Epstein File and…EVERY REPUBLICAN BUT ONE voted to keep the Epstein File secret, meaning no vote in the full Congress on the matter.

SO…yeah…there is basically no way this is going away…and it ALL could have been dealt with easily.

How? Well, obviously, releasing the files themselves. Only, knowing what we know, that was not going to happen — ever. Except, had the Trump Administration not been foolish it could be arranged.

How To Defuse a Toxic Situation — For Adults

My "Step By Step Guide To Getting Away With It” is now available on Amazon for the Low, Low Price of $17.76…KIDDING…it is all right down below…for free…

1. Oval Office — Apparently, there is no one to contradict Trump in Oval these days. Otherwise none of this would have gone down. That's the first remedy, and most important, because this will happen again. ALWAYS have at LEAST one person in the room to disagree with you.
2. File Review — Then I would say to him, "Listen, you promised these files for at least two years so you have to give The People at least SOMETHING. No, they will not ignore this issue. So let me see the List and we'll go from there.” Trump would argue and want me to sign a raft of NDAs, which is stupid because an NDA is a threat, and once there is a larger threat an NDA is ignored…so I would only give him my Word as a Gentleman not to speak later.
3. Looky Listy — When Trump finally gets it into his head I truly have no interest in sexytime shenanigans I finally get a gander. So I run down who is who and what I already know about some of them. Then I find the 10 Oldest and 10 Sickest. IF there are 900 Girls that means maybe 5,000 Johns so it should be easy to find a few on Death's Doorway. Then I cross-reference those and strike off valuable assets (i.e. "Good Families”, kids in politics, etc.).
4. Reducing Exposure — Also I strike off those who only partook a few times. Those fellows made very bad mistakes but I like to forgive mistakes. (Again, good manners is most important in this world.) You have to give people, even the worst, a break some times.
5. Final Form — By the end of the week I've got maybe 5 Johns who are about to die. NO HYSTERICAL TRUE CRIME WATCHERS, YOU DO NOT MURDER THEM. That's stupid movie nonsense. Instead, you go to them PRIVATELY and in DISCRETION and say…

Remember To Look Sternly

Listen up, chum, somebody is going down here. Trump promised a List, but you and I both know the reason that isn't possible. Except he has to give The Public something. That would be you. Maybe. We've gone over your medical records. We know you're sick.

Nobody is threatening you here. I'm the Deal Offerer, and this is it.

You allow us to "Indict” you on this Epstein matter. You're never going to trial. We'll make sure of that much. You've got about six months to live and we can drag things out. We'll allow you to "maintain innocence”, but make no mistake, the Press and Public will consider you Guilty even without a Conviction. So it will be humiliating for you, no joke.

During all this, you don't talk about anything "on advice of counsel”. You don't talk about other Clients. You don't talk about the Girls. You don't try to make deals. Nada, Zilch, No.

What you get in return? We'll keep you out of prison until you die. We'll set up your wife and kids, or grandkids, after you are gone. We'll let it drop after you pass, as in, "Well, we suspected him, but there was no Conviction, so we don't really know…” and you can have SOME kind of legacy for your descendants and those folks who continue to support you.

Likewise, we are Gentlemen, so if there is something aside from the money, we can kibbitz.

Also, may I remind, you actually did it. — No, no, no, please…no excuses…I get it…everyone has their reasons. We're not about that today, pal. — I'm only saying, you did do it. Nobody here is framing you. So no need for outrage or righteous indignation.

Just take it like a man. Turn this into a positive. Make your family wealthy.

Lastly, as I'm sure you know, that List is…exhaustive. I'm seeing a few others today about this matter and whoever takes the deal is the one we're going to protect. No threats, understand. We're not coming for more than one of you…but only one gets the cash.

And that's it. You pick ONE and even then it's a mutual concord on who is the Premiere Defendant.

Let The Public focus on this ONE person and have him become the proverbial Enemy Of The People.

It would have been on the covers of magazines and showing on talk programs the next half a year.

Trump — No Supporters Are "Moving On”

Don, as discussed ad nauseum, voters elected you to DRAIN the swamp…not become the swamp.

Moreover, there are the psychological aspects of the situation.

• Americans have been told "Child Sex” is the worst crime short of "Raicisms” in Current Year. Whether everyone agrees with this (as in…isn't severe battery or a physical assault worse?…) is another issue entirely. The FACT is "Child Sex” has become Top of the Hit Parade.

And Epstein was the Worst Offender of the Worst Crime — so folks aren't "moving on”.

• Perhaps MORE IMPORTANT, you keep attempting to dissuade The People from caring with complicated nonsense. The Tariff Issue is complex. The Tax Code is intricate. The War Stuff is in the weeds. Most of The People do not understand them. (Most Economists barely comprehend either.)

But Sex? EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS.

Girl to Pimp to John. It's that simple. There are ZERO VOTERS who can not get this much.

Tariffs? Applied when the Party of the First Part is Contracted with the Party of the Second Part to manufacture not less than the majority of Aforementioned Product within the National Boundaries of the Constituted Government presiding over the Domain of the…*sheesh*…even I'm bored!

The People vote for slogans — and Sex is the most popular catchphrase of all time.

What Now? Only Nuclear Options

Trump, lately I am hearing about a "Special Counsel”…but you f*cked this up so badly that can't help.

The reason? You can NOT claim there is "No List” and then suddenly "discover” ANOTHER List.

Or maaayyybbbeee…

If this gets worse (and it might) you better choose someone in your Administration and excoriate them for "hiding” the "Authentic List” which you were told did not exist…then, "OH HEY!, we found some remnant of an intentionally deleted file and it has THIS ONE NAME on there we can Convict!”

It would also require that you NOT ONLY prosecute this "One Discovered John” but ALSO the dastardly person in your Administration whom "hid the Authentic List” from you.

So, because of your carelessness, that's now TWO trials you are going to have to prosecute; one of which is your own former employee in the Administration…except you MIGHT be able to sell it as a "Man, I'm so angry! But we all know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you trust, Am I Right?”

That's your best chance, and it is an undoubtedly The Nuclear Option; so don't use it until necessary.

Next time have an expert solve things before they become "A Thing”.

Many politicians have found themselves dismissed by the people who elected them by doing far less.

Guy Somerset writes from somewhere in America