Your Last Guide To Steller Holiday Gifts

Alright, I get it…some of you like the adrenaline.

Photo: unsplash.com by Clay Banks is licensed under Free to use under the Unsplash License

An evening with a book

Waiting until the proverbial final moment to purchase holiday baubles can be a treat for the senses. Except, you're already on borrowed time, Champ. Depending on when this is published, you've got perhaps three days until the traditional exchange of frankincense and myrrh.

(Tree resins, they are both tree resins…give my part of our Trivia Jackpot to Charity, if you please.)

Know what else comes from Der Linden? Pulp…papyrus…paper…BOOKS!

So grab your wallet and let's move, Sportsfans. Because whether it's for your Relative or your Reeve, you're gonna need something good to pave the way for continued harmony unto our Coming Year.

The Budget — No Arguments With A Taxman…Or A Mailman

Okay, so before we get into how Your Humble Correspondent is going to get you out of this Last Minute Mess, we need to set some Ground Rules — as in, no Ground Shipping; you waited long enough that you have to splurge on Overnight so factor in $35 right from the jump.

Likewise, the Taxman Cometh, so we're going to set aside 7% for him despite some of your localities being higher and some of your hamlets being lower.

Finally by way of initially, at the upper echelon (your Boss or your Lolly Girl) we're doing $200 max; while at the lower extremities (your Secretary or your Wife) we're bowing at $50 minimum.

Therefore at most we're in around $250 deep and at least about $85 inclusive.

(Don't whine. You got yourself into this most dire of circumstances, Mon Frere.)

The Goods — Collectible Books For the Collective Soul

"The Forsyte Saga” signed by John Galsworthy — Here is a series of books which are a sort of Victorian melodrama but quality reading nonetheless. Think, elderly neighbor or casual female acquaintance as ideal recipient. These volumes originally appeared from 1906 to 1921 but republished in various forms well into further decades.

A latter edition, signed by the Author, will cost anywhere from $35 (if you are fortunate) to $100 (if you are desperate). Most appealingly, the stories have been adapted numerous times such as "That Forsyte Woman” (1949), a BBC Series in 1967, another ITV Series in 2002, as well as an upcoming PBS Masterpiece Series in 2025 (UK) and 2026 (America). Thus, a pertinent gift this season.

"Devil In A Blue Dress” signed by Walter Mosley — There is an entire litany of "Easy” Rawlins mysteries and this is the first, originally published in 1990. Likewise, it was made into a film starring Denzil Washington in the year 1995. Think, your best good Bud or somewhat "troublesome” Pal as the optimal receiver.

A First Edition signed by Mosley can be had from $25 to $100 depending on whether you want a sturdy paperback or a leatherbound collectible variety.

Touching Tributes — Affordable, Practical, Respectable

"The Greatest Gift” by Phillip Van Doren Stern — This is the story upon which is based the movie "It's A Wonderful Life” (1946) starring Jimmy Stewart (first Western film broadcast in Russia following Communism, by the way). Take heed, the tale is different the film in several regards; but is a worthwhile entry for our purposes. Now, some important factors, the "First Printing” is not the 1944 McKay version; but in fact one of the 200 holiday cards sent by Van Doren Stern to his friends and family. That will set you back $7,000…so not applicable here. You can get the 1944 edition in poor to fair condition around $150…but definitely not In-Season (HINT: "Tis the season.)

So what you want is the FACSIMILE of the original and mercifully it is available New in hardback for between $20 to $35. Even better? You can find them in leather about $35 to $50 which are more valuable and of superior quality. Everyone I have given this little gem enjoys it and everybody knows the motion picture, making the written word especially appreciated.

"Camp Of The Saints” by Jean Raspail — I used to give this to newly elected Officials I helped get into Power until I realized almost all of them seek Wealth to the detriment of the Nation. (Even passed over a copy to a newly elected Secretary of State in his very Office.) For those unfamiliar the book is High Literature, despite what Diversocrats at The Guardian may say, but also extraordinarily bleak; with mention of it here made for those Teens, typically Male, Ages 13 to 19 being the prime target. They want to be all sullen? Give them something truly depressing — their probable future.

Anyway, while the First Edition (French or English) usually goes for between $300 to $1000, you can get a New Reprint for between $10 and $20…any Political Action Committee donation not included.

Ancillary Sources — Magazines, The Friend You Didn't Know You Had

"Train Dreams” by Denis Johnson — Clearly this is a yarn about "workin' on the railroad all the liv' long day” which also happens to be quite well done. It was originally published by "The Paris Review” back in Summer 2002, Issue 162. Later it would be revised into a novella in 2011. Then in 2025 it was optioned into a feature by Netflix.

As of this writing, you can yet purchase a back issue from "The Paris Review” itself on their website for $35. In doing so, you have a valuable First Edition and a contemporary item for whomever you bestow your bounty. If equipped with Netflix, they can watch the movie on the holiday itself.

"April Witch” by Ray Bradbury — During the heyday of the Literate American, approximately 1885 to 1965 there were an astounding array of quality pieces which premiered in periodicals. Bradbury was one of the most prolific, as well as being among those most desirable for collectors. Largely known for his Science Fiction output such as "Fahrenheit 451”, an adept giver of gifts can locate his variant works for those who may adore the Author while being unfamiliar his other genres. As pointed out in the Kerouac Piece on Pravda of some months ago, it is vital to comprehend that people you "know” for one thing may be otherwise "known” for something else.

This story can be found in "The Saturday Evening Post” edition of April 5, 1952, for a price spanning $10 to $50 and will delight any literary lad of a yule morn.

Beware Of Scammers — Thrift And Millions

Naturally, it would be indiscreet to mention directly some of the Scammers who litter the market; but if I were You it would be well advised to avoid Thrift and Millions sellers who often misrepresent their wares with photos of High Quality volumes only to send absolute refuse.

Abebooks is good, but expensive. Alibris is a tad less helpful, and a touch more costly. Raptis in Palm Beach has incredible finds but is generally regarded as Top of the Bookshelf when it comes to fees.

Your best course of action will be the various auction sites around the Intertubes, most notably Fishing The Bay.

Close The Cover — You Owe Me, Bub

These are only a few incidentals which can make the holiday a little brighter for those in your care.

Obviously, this piece could have gone on another thousand words or more, including various obscure resources from which you might collect dazzling prizes for those special persons in your life.

The only problem? You ain't got time for none of that nonsense.

So fire up the credit card, get down to ordering, and May G-d Bless Us, Every Chum!

Guy Somerset writes from somewhere in America