"Nikki" Haley and the poisoner in the kitchen

The worst nightmare for any restaurant owner is to hire a chef who then turns out to be a serial poisoner and mass murderer, injecting the foie gras with deadly bacteria harvested from rotting oysters and lacing the truffles with cyanide. Fast forward to the field of diplomacy, the representative of the US at the UN, "Nikki" Haley.

I say "Nikki" Haley because she has a real name, Nimrata Randhawa (maiden name). Now, getting to the point, what has Nimrata in common with a rogue poisoner in the kitchen? The analogy is that the last thing one would expect from a chef is to put the lives of his customers in danger and to dishonor his kitchen. Since Nimrata has now chosen diplomacy as her career, having started it in waste management, the last thing one would expect from a diplomat, and especially the representative of her country at the United Nations Organization, the pinnacle of diplomacy, is to behave like a foul-mouthed guttersnipe, an arrogant, belligerent, chauvinistic, insolent, amateurish, out-of-her-depth, rude, churlish, unpleasant and oafish, histrionic, hysterical, hairbrained misanthrope.

So instead of using her skills in diplomacy, that is, given that she has any, namely courtesy, tact, effective and incisive yet engaging communication skills, developing and engendering mutual respect, what does she do? She mouths off, day after day, like a drunken banshee bawling out obscenities after a bottle and a half of the hard stuff. One sees more ladylike behavior among toothless, homeless drunkards lying in a pool of urine outside some railway station as they hurl f-word insults at passers-by.

Her latest diatribe, hurled in an interview with CNN, was the sweeping statement that "we" (whoever that is) "can't trust Russia and we won't ever trust Russia"). Why? Well, first off because she is incompetent to hold her position and secondly, because she claims "everybody knows Russia meddled in our elections".

OK Ms. Haley, present the evidence

OK Ms. Nimrata Haley, prove it. If everyone knows Russia meddled in your elections, put your proof where your snout is and present the evidence. If you cannot, then you have absolutely no right whatsoever to raise false testimony and make empty accusations. If you cannot, your word amounts to hot air, piss and wind, uttered by an impolite, vapid nonentity who has as much right to hold her position as a pedophile janitor at a grade school, or a serial poisoner in a kitchen.

Learn something from your Russian colleagues

If you want to learn the skills of diplomacy, watch and observe with attention your Russian counterparts at the Foreign Affairs Ministry and at the United Nations Organization and learn something. Learn how to behave, learn some poise, learn how to speak, learn how to address people, go to school and study. This isn't a waste management company, you are not making inventories of sewage emissions, neither are you working in your mother's company, which apparently closed when you left. Hmmmm.

"Nikki" Haley follows in a long line of snarling, growling, snapping females the last few US administrations have mistaken for diplomats, the criterion being to be as nasty, conceited, overbearing, pompous, coarse, vulgar and unpolished as possible. Where this places the United States of America except for Most Hated Nation is difficult to understand. One only has to view the expressions of the other members of the UN Security Council when "Nikki" Haley sits down, except for Chief Poodle the UK obviously, to understand that neither she nor her bosses understand quite how far the USA has gone towards the precipice of no return.

When "Nikki" Haley speaks, eyes rise to the sky, sneers emerge from sullen faces, people start turning to their neighbors to make snide remarks and off she goes, insulting her colleagues at the table, the antithesis of diplomacy, with every single syllable making her country more and more despised, losing more and more respect. If this is her goal, then Badhaee! (Congratulations).

If I were her boss, President Donald Trump, I would issue a three-word statement: "You're fired!"

Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey


Twitter: @TimothyBHinchey

[email protected]


*Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey has worked as a correspondent, journalist, deputy editor, editor, chief editor, director, project manager, executive director, partner and owner of printed and online daily, weekly, monthly and yearly publications, TV stations and media groups printed, aired and distributed in Angola, Brazil, Cape Verde, East Timor, Guinea-Bissau, Portugal, Mozambique and São Tomé and Principe Isles; the Russian Foreign Ministry publication Dialog and the Cuban Foreign Ministry Official Publications. He has spent the last two decades in humanitarian projects, connecting communities, working to document and catalog disappearing languages, cultures, traditions, working to network with the LGBT communities helping to set up shelters for abused or frightened victims and as Media Partner with UN Women, working to foster the UN Women project to fight against gender violence and to strive for an end to sexism, racism and homophobia. A Vegan, he is also a Media Partner of Humane Society International, fighting for animal rights. He is Director and Chief Editor of the Portuguese version of Pravda.Ru.


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Author`s name Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey