Author`s name Dmitry Sudakov

Year 2007 promises weird scientific discoveries

Astronomy and literary criticism

Yet another exoplanet i.e. the one located outside the solar system would be discovered on the eve of the springtime equinox. We suggest a new planet be called Zemblya (from Russian Zemlya – Earth) for its natural environment, which is thought to be pretty similar to that of Earth. Therefore, life forms on that planet can not be ruled out. Incidentally, the above name was first used by Vladimir Nabokov in his novel Pale Fire. Nabokov refers to the planet Zemblya that moves around the star ZX123-4, which, in fact, shines rather dimly.

History and chronology

An article by chronologists Fomenko and Nosovsky would be published early September, shortly before the Day of the City. The article would concern corrections relating to the foundation of Moscow. The line “come and visit me in Moscow” in a letter ( A.D. 1147) addressed by Prince Yuri Dolgoruky to Prince Svyatoslav was inserted into the document by some pranksters at a later period, according to the authors of the “new chronology.” Those pranksters must have put it in while having a ball in room 1147 at the 11th floor of the Moskva Hotel. The authors believe the astronomical measurements of Galileo comet’s tail should indicate a more correct time of the foundation of Moscow i.e. not earlier than the 16th century. Likewise, the ancient Egypt emerged in the 19th century since the sphinx appeared in St. Petersburg in 1834. So Moscow is merely 300 years older than the pyramids, believe it or not.

Biology and art history

The Poles would give another name to The Lady with an Ermine, the famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci, kept in one of the Polish museums. The painting would be renamed as The Lady with an African Ferret following the results of a genetic research into the oil paint of the canvass. The results reportedly show that the animal belongs to Mustela furo kind of the marten order.

Physics and viniculture

The journal Annaly hfiziki would suddenly publish an article to elaborate on the “rule of the gimlet” and the “rule of the right hand.” A guy called Levshin, an armorer from Tula, claims that he has gathered evidence to prove that the “rule of the right hand” applies only to right-handed persons, and therefore the left-handed should their left hands. Likewise, the “rule of the gimlet” (corkscrew) is applicable only to bottles sealed with stoppers made from the thick, lightweight layer of wood of a Mediterranean oak.

Mathematics and dendrology

The famous reclusive mathematician Perelmuter from St. Petersburg would come up with a topologically perfect way of solving the “problem of three pine trees.” The world’s mathematicians have been racking their brains trying to find an answer to the problem since the time of William Gilbert. In the meantime, Perelmuter would decline another Fields award and remain holed up in his pine forest near St. Petersburg.

Physiology and medicine

Chinese scientists would unravel the mystery of a fourth system (apart from the blood system, lymphatic system, and the nervous one) of the human body. As it turns out, the human body is wrapped up in a network of invisible nanocapillaries by which the vital chi energy is spread. The acupuncture points are located in the nodes of the system. Up to now the acupuncture points have been found in a rather empiric manner. From now onward they will be found using calibrated Chinese chopsticks.


Slight corrections are in the wings when it comes to terminology. For instance, the term “wild capitalism” would be replaced with the term “domestic capitalism.” The term “domesticated capitalism” would be repealed.

Izvestia Nauki

Translated by Guerman Grachev

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