Israelis and Palestinians in Agreement – Celebrities Are Morons!

Approximately five minutes after the first in a series of horrific atrocities began to be inflicted across the Middle East every celebrity you have ever heard of – and quite a few you forgot about – began to stake their claim to righteous indignation.

At a certain time in Tinseltown there was such a thing as a “Morals Clause” which is a synonym for “Do Not Embarrass The Film For Any Reason” and had the effect of shutting a good many mouths.

Alas, the Studio System is long gone…along with any sense of humility in Hollywood.

Countdown To Stupidity…

Among those who could not allow either side actually effected to grieve, or unable to comprehend a hundred-year battle in a thousand-year war may not be amenable to Tweets, or incapable of keeping a lid on their ego…we have the following beacons of wisdom in these perilous hours…

Justin Bieber (real name Justin Drew Bieber)

Because if you’re going to begin with fonts you always start with a squirt named “Bieber”.

Likewise, let us never forget that time The Biebs got called out by a fashion model for stuffing his underwear during a photoshoot. (Yep, that happened…and just so you know, ladies, whenever a man-child has a million cringe tattoos that means he’s covering up for some other inadequacies.)

Anyhoo, soon after Hamas went to town and the world woke up screaming Justin thought it would be a dandy time to flex his medulla oblongata with cogent historical observations on…kidding!

JB got all hot and bothered so he fired up his iPhone and sent out a message of praying for Israel – with a photo of a bombing by Israel which killed numerous Palestinians. (Importantly, Muslim civilians appear to be unworthy of his prayers)

Needless to say, Bieber did take time to clarify his intent as he was shuttling between University lectures about the complex nature of…kidding again! He’s content to be a millionaire moron.

Kylie Jenner (real name Kylie Kristen Jenner)

Likewise if there is one place you want to go for all your Geo-Political Analysis it’s the family which began their dynasty with a sex tape, continued it by pimping out their private trauma, and marry-divorced a slew of professional athletes in an evident ploy to fund their lifestyle by sports pensions.

But…we digress! What hath this harem of harlots to speaketh and thereby enlighten us mere prudes who do not film ourselves being showered in gold? (Yeah, I went there…heh heh heh…)

Alas, we may never know – well, kind of.

Kylie Jenner (not the model one) sent an Instagram Story post with the Israel-backed StandWithUs account, which okay, everybody has an opinion. Except, then she promptly deleted the same. Later, she refused to provide any clarification.

The reason is reported as being twofold: that Bella Hadid (of Palestinian descent) is her friend, and, about a bazillion users of Instagram and Twitter took her to task – which is entirely understandable if you have a global brand…by definition half your sales will generally be opposing the other half.

Keeping things apolitical, it is impossible to appeal to all people all the time…unless you shut up.

Curious Note: Sister Kim got in trouble Tweeting about Israel-Palestine tensions TWO TIMES already ten years apart which is to say nothing of the Kanye…curiosities…as of late. Kylie should know better.

Gigi Hadid (real name Jelena Noura Hadid)

The only person over 40 aware who Gigi Hadid is would be Bradley Cooper (you sly dog…) so for what reason the Israeli government chose to exponentially elevate her status is a mystery – but that is precisely what Tel Aviv did last week.

Hadid (a successful model) shared sentiments on Instagram supporting innocents on both sides. Perhaps she slightly favored Palestinians (of which she is descended) but overall her words were fairly anodyne. In terms of inflammatory rhetoric there is far worse said on any college campus these days.

Yet some genius in the Israeli government took this opportunity to magnify her status to an astounding extent by publicly denouncing the woman.

Again, whatever ethnicity or nationality you may be or currently favor – read her message. It’s a big nothing. Thoughts and Prayers sort of stuff. About as middle-of-the-road as one can be.

(Side Note: Seriously fellahs? With everything going on you’re going after some model? If you’ve got this much spare time I’ve got about a million other questions for defense ministers in the country.)

Even so, have to say, best for everybody not in-theater of the Middle East to allow those folks to handle their own issues. Particularly when one makes their living selling clothing to both sides.

Alicia Keys (real name Alicia Augello Cook)

Somehow, some way, by some inexplicable cluelessness singer Alicia Keys chose this time to Tweet (yep, still calling them that): “What would you do if you weren’t afraid of anything??? Tell me your truth…I’ve had my eyes on paragliding…”

She was also coincidentally wearing a jacket in the colors of Hamas. And…Wow.

Then Cook (yep, calling her that) paraphrased Freud to show us how stupid we all are by saying “Sometimes a jacket is just a jacket.” And…Whoa.

Okay, so it’s a “coincidence” you had a Tweet about the same method of attack in an on-going war AND wore the colors of one of the factions at the same time the globe is choosing up sides? You’re really going with that, Alicia? And WE’RE the fools if we refuse to accept this ludicrous explanation?

Hey…support who you support…but don’t call anyone else out for seeing who you are – M’kay, Miss “Keys”?

Mark Hamill (real name Mark Richard Hamill)

Here is a guy who lends his voice to the Kiev Cabal for their air raid system.

Truly. The actor from Star Wars views the Special Military Operation as a sci-fi fantasy epic.

Okay, just so we know what we’re dealing with here. Because, otherwise you might not believe the sequel.

Hamill initially Tweeted out support for Israel. Understandable.

Then, days later, Hamill Tweeted out support for…Indigenous Peoples on Columbus Day.

For serious. Serious-serious. Seriously, tell me about an Equal Opportunity Offender. *sigh*

This, my family, is the level of mental faculty and cognitive dissonance when Celebs speak aloud.

Mia Khalifa (real name…Porn Star Girl)

Honestly? Who cares? This is a random 30-year-old Porn Star who worked (until recently) for Playboy.

Khalifa Tweeted out some clearly inflammatory things and got fired. Then she doubled-down. (Nope, not doing that joke…)

The sole reason to drag her carcass to the feast we lay before us is this – Even a literal PORN STAR can get into trouble for embroiling herself in an emotionally volatile human nightmare.


Keeping Score At Home

Likely some of you are curious who is supporting what side (to various degrees). Fair enough. If a person takes a public stance then the public has a right to know. Here is the best I’ve got for you.

Vocally Israel: Gal Gadot (who is actually an Israeli Citizen), Natalie Portman (also an Israeli Citizen), Jordan Peterson (political analyst), as well as 700 other Celebs (for real).

Vocally Palestine: Dua Lipa (a singer, evidently), The Weeknd (a dyslexic singer, apparently), Lena Headley (Game of Thrones actress, but not the sexy one), Mark Ruffalo (The Hulk).

Final Non-Thoughts

Well kids hopefully we’ve had some fun today in learning when to speak and when to listen.

Honestly, none of this is new.

By that is not meant the Celebrity Commentary, but the war itself. This conflict has been in-progress a very long time and the reasonable thing for most of us not involved is to appreciate it is dreadful.

My personal opinion? Well…Let me tell you – no, on second thought…I’ll trust the readers to make up their own minds on such monumental concerns.

Precisely as it should be.

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Author`s name Guy Somerset
Editor Dmitry Sudakov