Five Things More Important than a Discord Pentagon Leak

Breaking News: Americans love Breaking News!

We are, by and large, breathless concerning ephemeral current events.

(Remember that Balloon Brouhaha everyone incessantly yammered about which is now virtually forgotten? Or West Nile Virus? Or all those Creepy Clown sightings a while ago?)

Foremost last week — and currently being held over for a second — The Discord Pentagon Documents Leak!

Needless to say, by which I mean essential to say, this little roadshow means naught.

Top 5 Things More Important To You Personally

Actually, this piece began with the title 101 Things More Important… but my Editor thinks 10,000 words may be a tad long for the daily reader to stomach. (He is correct.)

So instead of bludgeoning you with the obvious, your tireless Correspondent intends to beat you over the head with the emotional. Read on and weep for America:

1. Terry and Brenda Aultman — Who were they? I mean, you didn't even know them? What are they to you? Well, genius, they could have been you. On March 10, 2022, Jean R. Macean, lately of Haiti and an Illegal Invader to the United States, was charged with murdering them.

The Daytona Police Chief said the killings were, "One of the most vicious attacks I've ever seen in my 20 years”. Meanwhile, Fine Fellow Macean had previously been arrested in 2019 on multiple drug related charges involving cocaine, methamphetamine and marijuana but those inconveniences were dropped.

We hardly need relate the gruesome details of this crime scene since there is only one detail to know: If Illegal Invader Haitian Macean hadn't been here the two Aultmans would likely still be alive.

2. Kayla Hamilton — Who was she? Again, she might have been you reading this article. In January 2023, a 17-year-old Illegal Invader from El Salvador who was a budding rocket scientist…just kidding, he was an MS-13 gang member…allegedly murdered Kayla.

Incidentally, this Illegal who should have been shot on sight during his Invasion also robbed and raped her. Moreover, she was autistic…so basically as vulnerable as it is possible for a human being to be.

The fine Illegal lad had only Invaded our country months before he went on his robbery, sexual assault and murder spree so he was making good time with his mayhem. By the way, he had already been caught — and released on Society — by a Federal Government of Biden sworn to protect The People.

3. Francisco Cuellar — Who was he? Resident of Jacksonville, Florida, who on October 6, 2022, was allegedly murdered by Illegal Invader Reynel Hernandez found by police wandering around the property covered in blood.

Originally Illegal Invader Hernandez stated he was a wee tike of 17-years-old but was later discovered to be the ripe old age of 23 years. His real identity was also clarified to be one Yery Noel Medina Ulloa.

He is apparently from Honduras and one look at the photograph of this evident mongoloid will tell you all you need to know about the case. Additionally, it seems Ulloa was dumped into Florida by Biden on a "Resettlement Flight” for Illegal Invaders and he too had been in America only months before his arrest.

4. Alexis Hein-Nutz — Who again? She was a 25-year-old girl in Bismarck allegedly run down like a dog in the road by an Illegal Invader near Greeley, Colorado. Her vocation was as detention deputy in her local jail, thereby contributing to the community. As for the Illegal Invader? Distinctly enriching us other ways.

Police say a van driven by Octavio Gonzalez-Garcia hit her and kept right on trucking. They claim he didn't bother to pause to give aid or inform health services, but instead drove off into a cornfield.

Investigators further commented they found a false Green Card entitling the Illegal Invader to take the job of some legitimate American as well as a fake Social Security Card entitling the Illegal Invader to steal other benefits from taxpayers…which is you…and bafflingly this was all done without a Discord account.

5. Sandra Ceja and her son — What now? This was the case of a young mother and her two children allegedly killed by an Illegal Invader known as Jose Paulino Pascual Reyes, 37 years, who officers say went ahead and dismembered them and mutilated the bodies.

It occurred in that hotbed of invasion…Alabama…where, according to police, the victims were killed on or about July 24 last year. Reyes is looking at 9 counts Capital Murder and 2 counts Abuse of a Corpse. The indictment itself also lists Sexual Abuse of a Minor so he may have been going for the Trifecta, and for what it's worth this was a 12-year-old he is accused of tying up, drugging and raping for a week.

Our diverse Invader had previously been deported on Illegal Entry from Mexico, alas like a bad rash came back. He now faces a Death Penalty, which should have been given by Border Patrol long ago.

We could go on, but I'm depressed and you're bored…besides…the Sportsball game is starting soon!

Your House Is Collapsing…Quit Whining About Bathroom Fixtures

Just to drive the stake into your distracted heart a bit more, there is one final case to be retold.

In 2023 two Illegal Invaders in Nebraska allegedly shot and killed a bald eagle — that symbol of the United States, as well as a recently Endangered Species — with the epicurean intent to cook and eat it.

When arrested by a local Sheriff the Federal authorities not only refused to put the duo behind bars but furthermore declined to accept any telephone calls. Thus, the two Illegal Invaders still roam free.

Importantly, in June of last year a man in Ohio — Elderly, White and Legal — similarly killed a bald eagle. The result for him? A $10,000 fine coupled with another $10,000 in "restitution” to the Federal government and a ban from hunting for half a decade.

In 2017 another man in Virginia — again Elderly, White and Legal — killed another bird with the result he was sentenced to a month on House Arrest, another 100 hours of Community Service with $2,000 in additional fines.

What Happens in Ukraine DOES NOT Affect You

Children, we've all had fun here today…but…there is a lesson to our Story Time.

It is that nothing — absolutely nothing — in the terribly fearsome Discord Leak is likely to have any direct consequence on your life.

Not the troop movements, not whether Ukraine has enough air defense, not about Chinese weather balloons — Not one bit of it — Despite what the Pentagon and their Paid Pundits in Controlled Media say.

Conversely is the veritable fact 5 to 10 Million Illegal Invaders welcomed since Biden has been in office will absolutely impact your life — either by stealing your money, pilfering your resources or murdering you.

It is far too late in this game to be dithering about Discord or Chat Rooms when 1,000 Illegal Invaders came in yesterday…and 1,000 Illegals Invaders came in today…and 1,000 Illegal Invaders will come in tomorrow.

Ukraine is not our problem. Our country is our problem. Meaning, our wholly corrupt government is our problem.

Of course, there is no need to believe me.

Take a moment to ask Mr. or Mrs. Aultman…or Miss Hamilton…or Senor Cuellar…or Miss Hein-Nutz…or Miss Ceja and her son…except you can't…because they're dead…

And every minute you tolerate it, is another moment you condone it.

Guy Somerset writes from somewhere in America