Ukraine Intervention: So Putin Walks into a Bar…

In the West is an old joke which always begins, "So a guy walks into a bar…” followed by a comical setup and then a punchline. It's classic because it always works. That's the thing with classics; they're reliable.

Of course the joke these days in the Russia-Ukraine Conflict is a Western media which insists on mischaracterizing, misrepresenting and purposefully misunderstanding the primary facts of the dispute.

Among the main fools is the BBC which basically repeats Ukrainian propaganda, then at the very bottom of virtually every story includes the line, "These claims could not be verified by the BBC.”…which essentially means, "We simply repeat anything Kiev tells us.”

It will have you laughing all the way to the graveyard.

The Classic Framework — Good Guy vs. Bad Guy

People in the West like stories almost as much as jokes and these likewise typically follow a pattern.

Right now the media framework of the Special Military Operation is the most familiar of all — Good vs. Evil.

The plot goes like this…Evil Man did Evil Thing purely because of being Inherently Evil.

Americans love that story, and right now it is being repeated day and night in the Controlled Media.

Here is the True Version of the story conscientious Americans can share with friends and family reluctant to send all their hard-earned money to Ukraine for a squabble that doesn't involve them…

The Classic Story — So Putin Walks into a Bar

Okay, there is this guy named Putin who walks into a bar.

He's a government employee and had a long day following a long week in what has been a long year.

All this poor man wants to do is have a drink, maybe listen to some music, and most all, to relax.

The bar is more or less full and everyone is having a generally good time while also minding their own business.

Only there is this one rowdy jerk sitting a few stools over from our boy Putin who is getting louder. This obnoxious fellow is named Zelensky.

Basically good-natured Putin is trying to ignore him, as most of us do when we meet a drunk. After all, at the moment he's not hurting anybody, so let him be.

The problem is, this guy Zelensky is losing control of himself — he's hitting on girls he doesn't know, he's talking about everything in the world he doesn't like, and worst of all he's going on about how he can "kick the ass” of anyone who so much as looks at him wrong.

After quite a bit of this nonsense, civil servant Putin slides down some snacks left on the bar hoping to distract the guy.

This only makes bellicose Zelensky more aggressive and he begins aiming his insults at Putin who is still just trying to rest.

Eventually alcoholic Zelensky gets up to leave and while doing so falls off his seat right onto his face. Putin hops down and helps Zelensky rise to his feet and steadies him. Putin even offers an encouraging word to the man.

With that, Putin resumes his place at the bar grateful for finally having some quiet, and begins to take a sip of his drink.

Yet, as with most drunks, there is another issue with troublemaker Zelensky…the idiot says he's going to drive home! Half the people in the bar give each other wary glances but no one does anything. Meanwhile, this Zelensky slips and falls on his face again but hobbles to the door and gets out his car keys.

Poor Putin sits for a moment and thinks. He doesn't want to get involved. Who would? At the same time, as a public official, he feels a sincere commitment to the community. How can he let this selfish moron drive off into the night with the chance of killing some innocent pedestrian?

Putin knows what he was to do — even if he doesn't want to do it.

So Putin takes a deep sigh, gets down from his seat, follows wobbling Zelensky outside, and confronts him.

Putin offers to call the guy a taxi, but Zelensky refuses. Putin offers to drive the guy home himself, but Zelensky refuses. Putin offers the oaf to go back inside to get some coffee until be sobers up, but Zelensky refuses again.

No, this Zelensky claims he is driving home and begins to put the keys in the ignition.

With absolutely no other option, Putin punches the guy in the nose then takes his keys and carries him over to the curb until Zelensky regains his senses.

Only when he wakes, sissy Zelensky immediately runs off to whine to his family — in this case, his Uncle Sam — about how he was "attacked” by a stranger "for no good reason” and how he is "totally innocent”.

This is the entire Russia-Ukraine conflict as it actually occurred.

The Reality Explained

Here is the reality behind the metaphor:

Putin the Civil Servant — Putin the President

  • Putin as tired — Putin is wealthy and powerful and until recently there were reports he was ready to retire.
  • Zelensky the Drunk — Zelensky is intoxicated on his own press clippings and in the past years began issuing belligerent statements against Russia.
  • Zelensky as falling — Zelesnky has become increasingly deranged, maintaining over 20 biological weapons labs in Ukraine the past decade as well as abusing the Russian speaking ethnic minority of Ukraine.
  • The First Confrontation — Putin made several attempts to avoid conflict, first by negotiation directly with Zelensky and later by conversations with all the Western powers, but none would compromise with him.
  • The Final Confrontation — Putin was absolutely forced to make the issue one of physical force when Zelensky not only stated he intended to join NATO but barely two days before the crisis requested Nuclear Weapons to be placed in Ukraine against Russia.

As in the story, there was nothing Putin could do other than fight Zelensky or allow him to use Nuclear Weapons to threaten and perhaps murder millions of Russians.

This is the reason for the Special Military Operation…and Zelensky is the cause of all of it.

Tell the Story, Share the Story, Spread the Truth

All over the West there is only one story being told, and it isn't even a proverbial "side of the story” since the narrative being shared with the casual American or ordinary Brit is a complete fairy tale.

The nonsense claims of Evil Man does Evil Thing because of being Inherently Evil is both stupid and naïve.

Unfortunately, many in the West are rightfully too busy searching for missing baby formula, concerned about constant school shootings and worrying about how they are going to pay for home heating or $4 gasoline to become experts on a crisis half a world away that doesn't concern them.

But, much like in Vietnam or Iraq, some corrupt politicians see dollar signs for themselves in sending Taxpayer funds to Ukraine for weapons when that money should rightfully be spent at home.

Discuss With Others What Really Occurred — Which is the Reality

Putin tried for years to do everything he could to prevent this fight…and then frantically exceeded his own efforts in the months immediately prior to the conflict.

Look it up for yourself.

Every day he was on the telephone with world leaders trying to avoid the tragedy. Except every time the poor guy hung up the phone there was Zelensky out in front of the cameras making ever more hostile and outrageous comments about how he was going to aim Nuclear Weapons to blow up half of Russia!

Putin had no choice. He was just a guy getting to the end of his career who wanted to enjoy life a bit.

Putin did everything possible to calm things down — he doesn't want to be a "dictator,” he doesn't want to "recreate” the Soviet Union, he doesn't want to rumble for no reason — he does want to protect his family and his people….the same as you or anyone else would do.

Zelensky was the drunk who caused all of this sorrow.

They say a joke is only funny because there is some truth to it?

Well, this is the true story.

This is Part One of a Three Part series on the Ukraine Intervention and how it affects your life.

Guy Somerset writes from somewhere in America

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Author`s name Guy Somerset
Editor Dmitry Sudakov