By Guy Somerset
NOTE: THE FOLLOWING TOP SECRET MEMO WAS RECENTLY INTERCEPTED FROM THE KREMLIN IN MOSCOW. IT IS SHOCKING IN THE AMOUNT OF DETAIL REGARDING RUSSIAN MEDDLING IN AMERICA.
TOP SECRET - FOR RUSSIAN SPY CONSUMPTION ONLY - DO NO DISTRIBUTE - INTERNAL USE ONLY
Given recent setbacks and revelations of our Meddling in American affairs this Internal Document is intended to evaluate the success of our nefarious activities conducted within the United States.
Specific instances prompting the current review are unmasking of Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell as "Moscow Mitch" as well as identification of our involvement in the death of pedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
To assess efficacy of Russian Meddlement is a chronological appraisal of our most Meddlesome actions:
1863 - The American Civil War - An often overlooked excursion by the Russian Imperial Fleet to America may have been as deciding a factor in their Civil War as was the battle at Gettysburg. Many historians assent England and others considered intervening on behalf of the Confederacy to sway the outcome.
This would benefit outsiders to the dint of a source of raw materials and strategic implications of divided North American government. Arrival of the Russian Fleet was warning if this was done, there would be consequences. Russia, having freed the Serfs in 1861, was in many ways the forerunner of Abolition.
1942 - The Siege of Stalingrad - While a certain generation of Americans love to shout they "Won the War!" with Germany, the truth is they won against one-third of Germany. The rest of the army was defeated by Russia. Most important was the Siege of Stalingrad where the tide of war was determined.
If not for participation of Russia there is high likelihood Germany would have won outright as only two years later they were a minimum twenty years ahead of the United States technologically. Indeed, had Germany succeeded there is little doubt man would have a colony on Mars by the present day.
1962 - The Cuban Missile Crisis (Part One) - During negotiations, Americans dropped depth charges on a Russian submarine. Communication had ceased, meaning mariners may have easily misinterpreted non-lethal depth charges as beginning combat. Indeed, the Captain wanted to commence the fight. Only refusal by Submarine Commander Vasily Arkhipov, required for such a measure, preserved the peace.
1962 - The Cuban Missile Crisis (Part Two) - Even though it is public knowledge removal of Russian missiles from Cuba was part and parcel of de-escalation also involving removal of American missiles from Turkey, this was not revealed at that time. Premier Khrushchev permitted President Kennedy to maintain details in secret in order the American president not be embarrassed before his constituency.
1983 - The Nuclear Near Miss - On September 26, 1983, Stanislav Petrov, a Lieutenant Colonel in the Russian Air Defense realized early warning satellites indicated a massive strike by the United States of America. He was immediately skeptical given there was no prior action of an ominous nature.
Moreover, he deemed the synchronicity of these launches unlikely. Yet Petrov was required by training to report the alert to superiors which would certainly result in launching a counterattack. Stanislav chose to ignore the notice. Soon it was evident the warning was a system malfunction.
1991 - The Cold War Compromise - By 1991 the Soviet Union ceased to be a viable entity. There was newfound optimism. While there were improvements it was a difficult course. Still, rather than cling to power at the point of a gun Russia withdrew its soldiers from many nations of the Warsaw Pact.
Russia might have compelled neighbors with physical violence. Instead, it peacefully removed the military amid assurances from America that NATO would not expand. Of course this was a lie. Even so, Russian leaders focused on improving the nation rather than take Europe into a maelstrom of violence.
2001 - The World Trade Center Warning - During transition of governments, involvement in international matters sought to prevent instability. In the days before September 11 President Vladimir Putin telephoned American President George Bush to warn him Russian Intelligence received reports terrorists were "planning something big."
Needless to say, Bush did nothing. He did not put his military on alert. He did not instruct airports to flag ominous travelers. He did not address the nation. He did nothing. Of course, many consider that to be evidence of something else. Thus, never forget Russians did everything possible to avert the tragedy.
2013 - The Boston Bombing Alert - This was not the only incidence of Russian attempts to save American lives. In 2013 occurred the Boston Bombing which killed or injured over two hundred individuals. It was allegedly committed by the Tsarnaev Brothers, of Kyrgyzstan.
In the days and months preceding the crime American authorities were repeatedly warned by Russian Intelligence the Tsarnaev Brothers were dangerous and their travel from Kyrgyzstan had been closely monitored. In response the American government once more did absolutely nothing.
FACTS IN REVIEW
Given the above, it is obvious our Meddlesome actions have produced mixed results:
As for 1863, it is clear Russians prevented expansion of the American Civil War into a Global Conflict. The Imperial Fleet played a role in ending Slavery and a role as savior of the Union. (Given the condition of American inner cities saving the United States as a nation may have ended it as a civil society.)
DETERMINATION - Russian Meddling Saved the United States.
In terms of 1942, Russia was the true "Winner of World War Two" (or the Great Patriotic War as it is better known). The deaths of over one million Russian soldiers and nearly one million Germanic troops at Stalingrad were decisive in delaying an ultimate Fascist victory, until American mobilization in 1944. To state the Americans defeated the Germans is as ludicrous as it is to say Russia defeated the Japanese.
DETERMINATION - Russian Meddling Saved the United States.
Regarding 1962 (Parts One and Two), it is abundantly clear had Vasily Arkhipov not maintained his composure there would have been confrontation. Such a naval engagement may have led to a launch of atomic weapons. Catastrophic as, unknown to Americans, Russia had already positioned a hundred tactical nuclear warheads on the Cuban mainland.
Discussing the eventual compromise, only the acumen of Khrushchev prevented disaster. His understanding of the weaknesses of the American system allowed Kennedy to claim unilateral "victory" even as the clash was ameliorated by secret compromise between the two men.
DETERMINATION - Russian Meddling Saved the Whole World.
Regarding the Nuclear Near Miss, Russian tranquility once again preserved the peace. Had Stanislov Petrov not demonstrated the highest attributes of Russian national character and common sense a holocaust may have resulted. Given American political attitudes, to say nothing of social hysteria prevailing, it is doubtful an opposing officer would have reacted with as much responsibility.
DETERMINATION - Russian Meddling Once Again Saved the Whole World.
While collapse of the Soviet system caused incredible hardships on the Russian civilian population it is to our credit we did not engage in the worst impulses to restore dominance. (Compare and contrast this with the actions taken by China in Tiananmen Square). Even as American businessmen and International financiers looted the nation our military restraint was to the vision and honor of Russia.
DETERMINATION - Russian Meddling Saved Half Of Europe.
There is little which can be added to the brief synopsis above. Learning of the extreme danger that imperiled American civilians, Russian Intelligence acted immediately. Suspecting an enormous terror operation was imminent it warned the American President. His inaction inures to his shame.
DETERMINATION - Russian Meddling Failed To Save Two Thousand American Civilians But Not For Lack Of Trying.
Thwarted in the endeavor to protect American lives by one President, Russia again acted in the best interest of its natural ally by warning his successor concerning yet another pending attack. That this President likewise chose to repeatedly ignore such admonitions is for him to explain to posterity.
DETERMINATION - Russian Meddling Failed To Save Over Two Hundred American Citizens But Largely Due To American Refusal To Investigate.
VICTOTIES - 6 Times Russian Meddling Preserved American Lives
FAILURES - 2 Times Russian Meddling Failed To Protect American Lives
MIXED - 1 Time Russian Meddling Saved America With Dubious Results
Given America has been saved by Russian Meddling once every generation for over a century it is imperative to maintain our Meddlesome Matrix. Even those times our Meddlings have not succeeded, had American authorities acted with as much civic duty as ourselves lives would have been preserved.
While undeniably true that it is not pleasant to be accused by the Controlled American Media of our responsibility for every disreputable action in America, on the whole it is best for us to continue protecting the American populace given the American government appears incapable of doing so.
As for "Moscow Mitch" it is absurd to even address the matter, given he has sought war with Russia on laughable pretexts in the past. Considering the death of Jeffrey Epstein, that murder was undoubtedly the responsibility of a much smaller nation more significantly to the south than our own.
Thus for the present time, let the command ring forth to Comrades both near and far - Meddle Onward!
Guy Somerset writes from somewhere in America
The 23-year-old athlete was returning to the base through the forest after fishing on the Irtysh River. There were two other fishermen with him