Tears bare your soul

43549.jpegWhat is hiding behind the desire to cry? Why do some people cry more than others? What is the best way to deal with frequent tears? Researchers have shared their findings and talked about things that still remain a mystery.

The answer to this question is obvious. We are either happy or we are upset. Yet, this is too simplistic of an explanation.

Tears are a natural sensitive response to certain emotions, usually sadness and pain. Yet, sometimes people cry in different circumstances and situations. For example, when they see something beautiful. People are the only creature on the planet who cry to express emotion. When a person is experiencing pain, stress, fear or joy, i.e., something that causes a strong brain reaction, tears compensate for this emotion.

Crying can be called a certain survival mechanism. Tears are a signal that we need to give a way out to our emotions. Among other things, this may mean that we are upset, overwhelmed or even just trying to win someone's attention.

In addition, crying has biochemical purposes. It is believed that tears help to release stress hormones and toxins from the body. Sometimes tears are the way of manipulation. With their help you can get what you ask for, whether it is a request for salary increase or a husband's consent to go on vacation.

Finally, crying has a purely social function. Tears help to convey a sense of compassion.

Women tend to cry more than men, and it is considered acceptable. Now the trend is changing, but not too drastically. Tears are still considered a sign of weakness by many men.

Crying differs from one person to another. Most likely, it has to do with temperament. Some people are simply more likely to show emotions this way. Others ignore certain things that may cause others tears. People with a history of trauma tend to cry more. This is especially true if a person thinks of the past every now and then.
Women who experience anxiety, as well as extroverts and sensitive people feel comfortable when in tears.

People often justify their crying saying that they feel much better afterwards. Is this always the case? Usually, but not always, experts say. A study involving 200 Dutch women found that tears help most, but not all. Those who are crying because of fear or depression have noted, by contrast, deterioration of their condition. The reasons are unknown. Perhaps those who are depressed or experience anxiety do not get the benefits from tears that others are talking about.

Tears at the wrong time and wrong place evoke the feeling of embarrassment and inconvenience. Tears reveal the soul and show vulnerability. Often they can escalate into uncontrollable hysterics and damage the reputation or adversely affect career.

Here are some ways to help the crying person calm down:

- If you are not busy with anything, you are more likely to burst into tears.

- Try to get somebody's support. Of course, it all depends on your situation and how well you know the people around you. Sometimes, it is enough to hug someone close to you or just listen to their words of support to dry the tears.

- Perhaps you caught someone in tears and are ready to burst into tears as well as a sign of solidarity. It is a mistake to think that a person wants such support and will accept it. If you are not close to this person, it is appropriate to start with a question, asking if there is any way you can help.

- Tears in public cause more trouble than crying alone or in the presence of the closest people. But even if you are among a large number of unfamiliar people there is every chance that there is someone who can help you.

- Sometimes there is nothing good in tears - for example, when your boss talks to you about your mistakes or you have a conflict with your loved ones.

- Try to postpone the tears, but do not cancel them altogether. "Strangled" desire to cry is not good for you.

- Forgive yourself, find a suitable place and cry to your heart's content.

- If you cannot improve the situation, any positive information will help to postpone the tears. Find the funniest online videos or read stories. If you're in a doctor's office, flip through a magazine.

Too much tears can ruin your life, but complete lack of tears cannot be an indicator of mental health.

For various reasons, many people are doing everything not to drop a tear, suppressing their desire to cry. They drown in their strong feelings and emotions that are heavy enough to cause tears. According to psychologists, it is not healthy. It is better to acknowledge the strong feelings not to harm your body.

Vadim Kirillov

Read the original in Russian

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Author`s name Dmitry Sudakov