World must be more attentive to male virgins

There are a number of factors that can change the general public’s attitude to late virginity among men.

Reason One: it is not so easy for a man to lose virginity

Historically, the first sexual experience is a subject of extraordinary pride for men. That is why most boys grow up with the aim of losing virginity as soon as possible. According to France’s National Institute for Demographic Studies (INED), an average West European man has his first sex at age 17. If it takes longer, boys think that there is something amiss with them and unintentionally enhance the possibility of turning from a proud eagle into a timid sparrow.

There is another stereotype: men are the first to show an initiative. If they do not, they are automatically associated with a sniveler, a loser and an object of pity.

It turns out that while a girl is waiting for a boy to take her flower, a boy should run goggling and searching for a sexual experience. It usually results in one of the three ways.

The first way is meeting a prostitute. The second one is casual sex with a curious classmate. The third one is the happy end of romantic relations with his girlfriend. The first two variants require confidence and persistence. With the third variant you may wait for your love throughout the entire lifetime.

So if a man is shy for some reasons, and there is no love on the horizon, he may stay a virgin for a long time.

Some countries took a responsible attitude to the problem of male virginity. As a result, special facilities sprang up to help young men lose virginity. In Berlin there was a brothel for male virgins where experienced women tactfully help them in every aspect. In Holland there are special courses available for losing virginity. Men pay 3,500 euros, and then they get used to seeing their own naked body and learn the sexual intercourse theory and finally lose virginity with the help of their tutors.

In May of 2007 Britain’s Channel 4 showed how the Dutch courses work in The Virgin School reality show. A 26-year-old man named as James, a participant of the show, confessed at the end of the program that he finally started feeling like everyone else. He also said that there would be no estrangement in his life any longer.

One may assume that in Russia, where “there was no sex” for about 75 years during the Soviet era, such facilities could be highly sought after. But before it could happen prostitution should be legalized in the country.

Reason Two: virgins are different

“Is he normal or a freak?” Almost every woman will think so in case she hears a twenty-something man telling her that he is still a virgin. Moreover, the “freak” version will be more believable.

Thegroupofpotentiallong-standingvirginsincludesmenwhowereoverprotectedinchildhood.Theyareunabletotakeseriousdecisionsandarepanic-strickenabouttheirfuturefatherhood.Anotherreasonformalevirginityis unattractive appearance combined with total self-consciousness and shyness. The very idea of the first step to sex frightens them. However, women are frightened off not by their appearance, but by their stiffness and quaint behavior.

However, we should not jump to conclusions, for an old virgin may turn out to be an incorrigible romantic who will hardly think of sex only. It may also be a rare specimen – a cute man without problems and romantic feelings. His late chastity is rather a passive attitude to life.

Promises, religion or personal beliefs may be reasons for male virginity. Mathematician Isaac Newton and philosopher Immanuel Kant preserved their virginity, since they believed that it is worth wasting your energy on science, not on sex.

Reason Three: Male virginity may be a merit

India ’s weekly Outlook conducted an opinion poll among Indian women. The poll showed that 50 percent of them wanted to marry an innocent man.

In Russia, online forums provide evidence to prove that Russian women are attracted to sexually inexperienced men. Posts from women may run as follows: “I have always wanted to have a virgin boy just for a change”, or “I am an independent personality. I am 25. I run my own business; I own a flat and a car. But I am very fastidious about my love life. I don’t need a “used” man. I want to be sure that I am his first woman. My current boyfriend is good-looking and clever. But I found out that he’d had affaires before our relationship. I don’t know whether I can forgive him. I have lots of men to choose from…But now it feels as if I picked him in a second-hand shop.”

Forum visitors who dream of a virgin are more likely to imagine an 18-year-old guy, but not a 30-year-old manager who starts to lose hair. However, old virgins may prove to be compassionate and grateful.

After the age of 20 every year of virginity makes a person more obsessed with his problem, and it seems almost impossible to solve the problem. Such men learnt to live without sex – they do not show their “inferiority”. To say this out loud to a woman they like means an abrupt end of a relationship. That is why virgins keep silence till the decisive moment.

Naturally, there is a long way of errors from theory to practice. Even if partners are both experienced or both inexperienced, it takes several months. Thus it makes no difference how to spend your sex hours: whether to retrain a partner or to teach him from scratch.

It is clear that sex with sexually inexperienced men will not seem to be pleasurable for every woman. However, if there are no feelings yet, and chastity does not arouse you much, but if the mystery of virginity has been already unveiled, do not hurry to turn up your nose at this man and label him as abnormal. You stand a chance to find a nice person, a lifetime partner. It is never late to learn, even to learn sex.


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Author`s name Dmitry Sudakov