Time for summer sex!

Crowds of men and women go on vacation in summer, leaving their husbands and wives at home. A lot of people, if not the majority, go on vacation not because of getting a suntan only, they also go there for sex – spontaneous, wild, unforgettable sex, even those, who do not complain of their sexual lives. Well, maybe the following statistics will restrain someone:

- every third person catches sexually transmitting diseases in summer; - about 23% of infected people do not know that they are infected; - some 650 teenage girls get pregnant every year, when they do not wish for it at all, the majority of those pregnancies happen in summer.

Both home and foreign doctors say that the peak of men’s sexual activity falls on the period of July-August, whereas this period is a bit different for women – it happens at the end of summer. This is explained with the genetic memory of a human being, since children that are conceived in summer have more chances to survive. So, the best time for sexual collision is August, but if you have no patience to wait, then there is some advice.

For HER:

Become a tanned and slim babe, not for attracting sexually hungry men to fall down in front of your chocolate knees – simply make yourself like yourself. You will succeed if a young man will start giving you flowers and carrying you in his arms. He if makes some attempts to take you off the ground – this does not count.

Visit a sex-shop and get yourself a dildo – the biggest one. Enter the shop without any sense of fear or hesitation, do it proudly, with a look of confidence in your eyes, not at night, wearing a veil or a pair of sun-lasses. Examine the entire range of dildos, choose the longest one. If you can carry this thing in public, when it sticks out of your shopping bag, then you may be sure that you got nothing to be afraid of in this life.

Break a man’s heart. Not the heart of someone spotty and unconfident, you must do this to a man who is totally independent and immaculately handsome. You have to drive him crazy, make him experience insomnia, delirium tremens, and then just run away without any notes of goodbye or explanations. Such measures give a good rise to woman’s self-appraisal. The main thing that you must not think about is that you could give birth to a very healthy child from that hunk.

Get yourself a bikini swimsuit. Reveal 99% of your buttocks, look more open that beauty girls from Playboy do. You must purchase this super-erotic swimsuit, but never hide it in your drawers, wear it! For those, who cannot execute paragraph one (become a slim babe), we would advise to try a bikini on at home and don’t forget to turn the light off. Otherwise, the compensation of the moral damage to the people on the beach will be a lot bigger, than the one that you paid for the fancy swimsuit.

Have the real vacation affair: fall in love within the shortest amount of time possible, get married (for one or two nights) and break up, avoiding any disappointment or sadness, as well as unwelcome pregnancy.

For HIM:

Cut your hair short: it is hot to have long hair in summer, and a man with short hair looks a lot tougher and unbridled than he really is. Your girlfriend or wife will stop calling you “my hamster,” or “my piglet,” she will most likely start using the names of wild animals like tigers.

Fall in love, not just for a night, for your whole life. There are all conditions for that in summer – perfect climate, naked bodies, clear thoughts. You must have a beautiful and passionate affair, about which you will not be ashamed to talk about to your grandson.

Make love in water. Forget about showers or bathtubs, you need freedom of fantasy and movement. A sea, an ocean, a pool, even a shallow river would be perfect. Sex in water is very good even if your partner is very fat – people do not weigh much in water, you can be certain that you will have the extravaganza of water sex. Your fat partner will never forget this, she will cook you dinners the whole winter for that.

Don’t ever buy a bikini swimsuit - it looks very nice on a tight little woman’s butt, but speaking about big, hairy man’s bum – it will look horrid. Women will not forgive you, although a some men will, but do you need this?

Fight with one of your bad habits and defeat it. If you do this with several bad habits – you are a hero. Find courage to stop biting your nails, picking your nose or teeth, falling asleep quickly after sex, you know the list goes on. Be a man!