Foul language leads to impotence: New study suggests

A resident of the Russian town of Yekaterinburg has come up with a rather unusual discovery. According to the research manager of the Center of ecological safety and survival Gennady Cheurin, he has examined the essence of the foul language he managed to prove its pernicious impact on human organism scientifically.

According to the recent statement made by Mr. Cheurin himself, foul language in fact contains sacred words. In the ancient times, these words had been used by Russian men in times of special rituals to "call for their virile essence". "Men were allowed to use these words only 16 days a year. Afterwards, it was strictly prohibited to use them," explained Gennay Cheurin to journalists. “So whenever men use these sacred words for no reason in their daily life, this immediately leads to sexual dysfunctions, i.e. impotence. If a woman uses these words in her daily speech, she slowly begins transforming into a man."

According to the author of this rather interesting hypothesis, his words have been recently confirmed by a research study conducted by a group of Russian scientists. The scientific team have been investigating the way swearing affects water, which according to Cheurin, possesses "memory". The scientists had first expressed their anger in a string of oaths (directed at a water jar). It was later used to water wheat seeds. “As a result, only 48% of those seeds that have been watered with “aggressive obscenities” sprouted. Among those seeds that have been watered with "mild foul language" only 53% sprouted. Among those seeds that have been watered with holy water, 93% sprouted. It is hard to imagine what human body must go through each time we swear," noted the scientist.

Gennady Cheurin has also revealed the name of the person who, according to Mr. Cheurin is responsible for such widespread of the sacred words. "The well-known writer Afanasiev has used these words in his 'Sacred Fairytales.' He shouldn't have done it, says Cheurin. Cheurin also says that foul language works very well at war. “Foul language can be helpful in extreme situations. Similar to the last bullet, it has to be kept for extreme circumstances; for military operations for instance. Besides, swearing enables much faster information exchange during warfare," states head of the Center. He is also inclined to believe that swearing in no other language (aside from Russian) is capable of doing so much harm to one's body.