The Somerset Guide To Going Broke – Luxury Jewelry Edition

"Tis the Season…for becoming busted.

Photo: https://unsplash.com by Or Hakim is licensed under Free

Rings on a display

Everything is more expensive these days, but especially those beauties already expensive to begin with.

By the way, swung by the Colonel's place the other day and a bucket with sides is $50 now…and I heard the Confederates lost the war! (*joking*…the appellation is an Honorific in the Bluegrass State, of which a forbear of Yours Truly in fact bears the distinction…as seen here during the last Great Recession.)

Except, never fear! As always, your best good pal Somerset has you covered, Sportsfans!

Herein shall ye find my invaluable Tips on how to Gift-Give your way to the heart (or other locations further south) of that little cutie you hold so dear this coming yuletide.

Where to Shop with Inflated Hope and Deflated Wallet?

Very briefly, the most important thing is to not be overly critical of price: most jewelry, particularly Lux, is marked 90% over the cost of the materials themselves…if you pay retail. (HINT: NEVER PAY RETAIL.)

For those with plenty of time — hence the reason I am helping you a month afore this holiday — the online Auction market (you know the main place) is a fantastic source…but takes many hours to sift the junk.

Then is the Pawnbroker or Scrap Dealer, both of whom are YOUR FRIEND. While many customers look down their noses, these outlets require high turnover to remain fluid. (Offer 10% above scrap to begin.)

Alright, so you're ready to spend…but on WHAT!?!…take a breath, Pal, it's gonna be fine.

Lux Around The World — Asprey, Cartier, Tiffany

In this review I will assist in advising on money well spent at the $100 USD to $1500 USD range.

For the price-conscious there are only a few brands which connote taste while maintaining this relatively weighted budget. Thus, we shall not delve into the So-Hi jewelers such as Bulgari, Chopard or Van Cleef.

Similarly, one should eschew the déclassé entries favored by Sportsball Players and Itinerate Rappers such as Gucci, Louis Vuitton or David Yurman; even South Park mercilessly ridiculed such associations.

That leaves us what Your Humble Correspondent refers to as The Big Three: Asprey (UK), Cartier (France), and Tiffany (the US) which all offer stunning pieces that can sometimes be obtained at cut rate.

Asprey (UK)

This is known as "the Tiffany of Britain” by some, which is a fairly low-brow manner of speaking but generally conveys the staying power of the jeweler; Asprey began in 1781, which provides ample opportunity for the discerning man to find something upper quality for lower price…if he gazes carefully.

Cartier (France)

Everyone knows Cartier but what most don't understand is to catch a commodity piece you must cast for antique or vintage; as only the extremely high-level modern items will retain their sums. To illustrate, there are a million plus one Tank Watches for sale, but a dozen Double Leopard Rings on the secondary.

Tiffany (the US)

This is going to be your best choice for getting your girl to squeal with delight. Tiffany offers a broad range of pricing from Entry Level to Schlumberger Level. (Incidentally, pronounced SLUM-ber-zhay, so you don't embarrass yourself…but you won't be saying it often lest you got $5,000 at the ready.)

Your Recommendations from a Jewelry Fiend

As most of you know, Yours Truly likes the ladies. And, the babes like baubles. Ergo, I have experience with the latter to gain access to the former.

If you are in a likewise state of affairs (*heh heh heh*) then I can help…

Asprey (UK)

Since the brand is FAR less known in America and abroad, you can score nice pieces. A Solid Silver ring, bracelet, or necklace you can get for anywhere $100 to $500 with semi-precious jewels one level up.

Cartier (France)

The highest of the three mentioned, Cartier will set you back more (particularly given rises in base metals). Even so, if you watch closely, you might get a minor piece for between $1000 and $1500.

Tiffany (the US)

Here you can do marvelously well but only by discernment. Do NOT get: a heart tag anything, the name prominently stamped anywhere, an item less than absolutely uncommon from the teeming masses.

Tips of the Trade: Collabs For Collectors

Collaborations are all the rage these days in the jewelry market, but they are hardly new. One of the ways to ensure you are purchasing for posterity rather than buying for the abutting occasion is to search out important designers who have partnered with a Lux maker or made for a significant event.

Asprey (UK)

This is an easy one in the sense there are innumerable dates of significance in the Empire. Look for items from the Coronations or the Jubilees. (Do NOT go for "flashy” dates such as The Millenium, etc.)

Cartier (France)

Here you would be looking for pieces associated with Jean Dihn Van, a French-Vietnamese designer in the 1950s and 1960s, or perhaps Aido Cipullo, a designer from the 1970s responsible for the "nail” rings and "love” bracelets…except be EXTRAORDINARILY cautious in case of the last; he is widely faked.

Tiffany (the US)

In this instance, search out modern pieces that are done in association with Paloma Picasso (daughter of the famed artist) or, even more contemporaneously, with Frank Gehry (the famous architect).

When Lux Kills — Avoid, Distance, Evade

Alright, time for some hard truths…even the most erudite of us do not know what we don't know.

There are a few brands you need to bolt from no matter how good the price…indeed, you best sprint the better that tag appears. I'm saying it because in the moment you will lose all sense. It's happened to me. It will happen to you. That hot little number is in your fevered palm and you're thinking…nothing — because you're not thinking anything…you're being greedy.

Your sole defense? The fact I'm here to alert you to the danger PRIOR your perspiration.

SO LISTEN UP, JUNIOR:

1. Faberge — I love it. Ladies love it. Fakers realize it. Seriously. Since at least the 1920s (if not before) forgers have understood the appeal of Faberge (er, the ORIGINAL, not the modern) and done their best to swindle us both. I've seen plenty of Faberge, been to the St. P location of the original Faberge storefront, bid on authentic Faberge items in auction…and STILL would not feel comfortable verifying a piece absent meticulous documentation, photos, and refund rights.
2. Breguet — We speak of the French horologist. They have been in business from 1775 and…yep, there have been fakes since at least the 1850s onward. No joke. Are you confident in your ability of assessing the difference between an 1810 authentic pocket watch and an 1835 fake one? Me neither. This is another situation in which you want to pay full freight. The distinctions are too subtle for even the moderately informed connoisseur; you need absolute provenance.
3. South America — Here is a more recent issue. If you are "Fishing the "Bay” you're going to feel your heart leap to your throat when you see a fabulous (and flawless) dial on an Hermes, etc. wristwatch. The problem? Certain parties Down Argentine Way (among others) are taking parts or even full movements, then repainting creative faces on them; to the degree these can be designated "partially authentic” in the sense A FEW aspects are "real” while most are fake. In this instance, if you LIKE the item as decorative that's fine…but the pieces are mostly worthless.
4. Precious Gems — Alright, this is something Yours Truly encounters frequently from the neophyte investor. To wit, if the jewelry incorporates semi-precious stones (Citrine, Garnet, Peridot, etc.) any Lux retailer is going to astronomically overprice the raw materials involved. This is TRUE. Therefore, if your Bubbe or Savta tends toward Tourmaline you should by all means buy generic; the stone will be larger and the setting often as attractive. SAME TIME, if you want ANY INHERENT VALUE than you MUST buy Lux because as long as it says "Tiffany” it holds value.

(Also, PLEASE REMEMBER, when the time comes to run for the hills, everyone and their brother will all be selling the same things to the Pawnbroker — so you seriously need to have good offerings which distinguish themselves to get enough for boat fare off Debtpaper Island.)

Gold Filled is not Gold Plated

Again, this often comes my way…and it's infuriating:

• Gold Filled is a designation, mostly in antique or vintage jewelry or accessories, that means a layer of Gold is bonded to the base metal; typically at least 5% of the amount being Gold itself. Generally this was seen in "everyday” items such as dance card pencils, toiletry utensils, and the such. This Author has many similar pieces from both Cartier and Tiffany yet despite being 100 years or more in age, none of them has the slightest wear and certainly not to extent they would be embarrassing to use.
• Gold Plate is a current distinction where an extremely thin layer of Gold is electroplated to the surface of an item, often for watches, pencils, charms or even necklaces. IT FREQUENTLY WEARS OFF. This leaves "bare” areas which make the pieces basically unusable in polite company; you don't want them.
• Another thing is the dreaded (and dreadful) use of "vermeil” in jewelry; which a sparse, once more electroplated, sheen of Gold over Solid (AKA Sterling) Silver on an item. As you might suspect, this also habitually wears in places meaning you either have to re-plate the item or quit using it entirely. Obviously, the Silver itself has value; but do yourself a favor and buy Solid Silver or Gold, not a covering.

NOTE: In the past year has been a tendency not even to do THIS MUCH…with "vermeil” losing place to Gold electroplating over Brass (of all things!) which is essentially totally worthless for the metal content.

A Brief Dissertation on Silver

Given the price rise in Silver, from around $20 to almost $50 per Ounce in recent years, this is no longer a "cheap” substitute for Lux; while simultaneously remaining generally affordable to the general public.

In that sense you need to be aware of a few things based on personal experience:

• Solid Silver — This has a variety of "marks” of indication based on country. Here is the best store of value and a good way to give nice items for less money. It can be cleaned by polishing cloth or gentle chemical, each of which removes an infinitesimal amount of the base but shines the material. (I prefer chemical crème which is by far more time-effective as well as producing aesthetically-pleasing results.)
• Silver Plate — Don't do it. Unless it's a huge piece (samovar or the like). The reason is it often wears thin after a century or more. I have two trophies given by my ancestors in Equestrianship (yep, hass racin') which I finagled back at auction yet BOTH need serious replating. The issue? Frequently, Silver re-plating costs FAR MORE than if the item was made of Solid Silver! (No joke. You won't believe me, but it's true.)

Likewise, in my personal experience with Tiffany photograph frames, the Silver Plate ALWAYS tarnishes more rapidly than the Solid Silver versions. The reason? Who knows. It's as if the tarnish is dying to get out. Anyway, the detriment is two-fold — more polishing as well as quicker removal of the plate itself.

NOTE: Again, exceptions can be made, as it seems that Tiffany sold less frames 12×14 or larger of Solid Silver than they did of Silver Plate; both of which are quite scarce…meaning Plate is the default.

• Silver Soldered — Almost everyone I encounter has a varying definition of this term. Generally speaking, it equates to the Gold Filled description above; the Silver is more amalgam than Plate. In my personal experience this is an acceptable choice since Plate wears rapidly. Also, to use for utensils (i.e. soap dish).

Clearly, in terms of some items mentioned above there will be no pertinence to jewelry, but since you took the effort to read this piece it seems incumbent to help you out as much as possible.

Hints on Auctions

Most of you already know these, but often I see Poor Saps wreck themselves during their first time at the Rodeo, so here you go, Cowboy:

• NEVER be the Initial Bidder. The price only rises from that point. You will NEVER get the item at the Opening Bid, so don't be stupid…allow the Start to be as low as the Auctioneer may allow.
• ALWAYS buy a piece if it is unique and you have the cash. DUMB SOMERSET ANECDOTE: Around a decade ago someone offered me a Tiffany Gold Tiara at Melt Value (cost of Gold alone). It was…a lot. Except, I was ready with the lucre. I knew the item was rare. I understood Gold would rise…but didn't buy. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

In (tenuous) comparison, the Engagement Ring worn by Princess Kate which was made by Garrard has purportedly risen by 1,000% in value these past 10 years. Such is the rocket-rise of Lux jewelry. That Tiffany Tiara would have been an heirloom piece worn for Coming Out Parties (not the kind you think), Graduations, Betrothals, and many other events…so don't choke when comes time to lay out shekels.

Timeless Acquisitions

Fortunately, I don't always screw it up.

Recently I had an opportunity to acquire a vintage Cartier beaded choker (ironic, no?) of Silver, Gold and Amethyst in the "Rolling Ring” motif which would later become synonymous with that house.

Now, between you and me, I did MILDLY choke…I passed the first (very high) price. Then I negotiated a contract and got it home…and went back and forth…forth and back…on keeping it.

Fortunately…I did…and frankly, it's a fantastic addition to the collection.

I briefly considered donning it myself, similar to the ubiquitous ascot of my dear old friend Kendrick…but as he would exclaim, "Standards, my boy, Standards!”…so the necklace shall go exactly where expected.

At the same time, I mention this not to posture on my premonition, but help you understand even when you do the "right thing” you may have attendant passing heart attacks…that even knowing you screwed up prior may not always help you in not screwing up the present…and that in the end Lolly Girls always win. (You didn't really believe I was going to fail to mention that little topic in a piece on jewelry!?!)

Because — as with Grant and Kelly in "To Catch a Thief” — there remains One Thing better than jewels.

Guy Somerset writes from somewhere in America