Doomsday Clock is now 90 seconds before Midnight

U.S. President Informed that Doomsday Clock is now 90 seconds before Midnight

U.S. President Informed that Doomsday Clock is now 90 seconds before Midnight

Based on reliable sources, the following leaked – Top-Secret – conversation actually happened. The White House has neither, confirmed, nor denied its authenticity much less the identity of the characters that were involved.

Obiden: It is time… Synchronize our clock watches! Watcha got?

Harass: Mine says… 7-Eleven. That would be… Around lunchtime.

Obiden: Hmmmm… Muh timepiece has seemed to stop.

Harass: Did you… Change your battery?

Obiden: C’mon maan. Muh Timex is a plug-in.

Harass: Wouldn’t that be an Apple – i watch – a – Phone?

Obiden: No. It is more like muh hair. One follicle plug at a time!

Harass: Alrighty. Why don’t we just count instead?

Obiden: Mister President… You start.

Harass: 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99…

Obiden: C’mon maan. I only do digit o’s.

Harass: Okay. You start.

Obiden: 1 - 2 - 3…

Harass: Four! She was just seventeen.

Obiden: C’mon maan. That’s muh line!

Harass: Fine. Let’s treat this like a broken clock. It is always right… Twice a day. Right?

Obiden: Wrong. Not on muh swatch! Get it?

Of course, that parody never happened. Right? Or, did it? With the litany of fake news, lies, and circle-backs lately coming out of the White House Press corps as well as from the Lame Stream Media, which follows the Administrative spin to a T, one has doubts. Still, parody or not, the White House’s silence on this troubling development is no laughing matter.

Moreover, consider some late breaking news. China Joe Biden, while addressing a diverse group of Noo Yawkers, claimed Glowbull Warming, and not the prospect of imminent Thermonuclear War with Russia, is America’s greatest existential threat.

Why wouldn’t he. A Green Comet is scheduled to pass directly overhead Joe’s Rehoboth safe house tonight. Astronomers predict that the comet will leave in its wake more revelations: Joe’s possession of classified, top-secret documents, were not confined to just three locations. Turns out, he – like the comet – leaked a trail all across America. Maybe even beyond.

Have this on good authority from Secret Squirrel’s sworn testimony that the writing is now in the sky: Green – 10 percent – greed is slovenly…

Worse yet, China Joe accused Orange Man Bad of his own crime! Suffice to say, President Trump’s classifieds were on the upand-up. As always.


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Author`s name Petr Ermilin
Editor Dmitry Sudakov