U.S. President Informed that Doomsday Clock is now 90 seconds before Midnight

U.S. President Informed that Doomsday Clock is now 90 seconds before Midnight

Based on reliable sources, the following leaked – Top-Secret – conversation actually happened. The White House has neither, confirmed, nor denied its authenticity much less the identity of the characters that were involved.

Obiden: It is time… Synchronize our clock watches! Watcha got?

Harass: Mine says… 7-Eleven. That would be… Around lunchtime.

Obiden: Hmmmm… Muh timepiece has seemed to stop.

Harass: Did you… Change your battery?

Obiden: C’mon maan. Muh Timex is a plug-in.

Harass: Wouldn’t that be an Apple – i watch – a – Phone?

Obiden: No. It is more like muh hair. One follicle plug at a time!

Harass: Alrighty. Why don’t we just count instead?

Obiden: Mister President… You start.

Harass: 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99…

Obiden: C’mon maan. I only do digit o’s.

Harass: Okay. You start.

Obiden: 1 - 2 - 3…

Harass: Four! She was just seventeen.

Obiden: C’mon maan. That’s muh line!

Harass: Fine. Let’s treat this like a broken clock. It is always right… Twice a day. Right?

Obiden: Wrong. Not on muh swatch! Get it?

Of course, that parody never happened. Right? Or, did it? With the litany of fake news, lies, and circle-backs lately coming out of the White House Press corps as well as from the Lame Stream Media, which follows the Administrative spin to a T, one has doubts. Still, parody or not, the White House’s silence on this troubling development is no laughing matter.

Moreover, consider some late breaking news. China Joe Biden, while addressing a diverse group of Noo Yawkers, claimed Glowbull Warming, and not the prospect of imminent Thermonuclear War with Russia, is America’s greatest existential threat.

Why wouldn’t he. A Green Comet is scheduled to pass directly overhead Joe’s Rehoboth safe house tonight. Astronomers predict that the comet will leave in its wake more revelations: Joe’s possession of classified, top-secret documents, were not confined to just three locations. Turns out, he – like the comet – leaked a trail all across America. Maybe even beyond.

Have this on good authority from Secret Squirrel’s sworn testimony that the writing is now in the sky: Green – 10 percent – greed is slovenly…

Worse yet, China Joe accused Orange Man Bad of his own crime! Suffice to say, President Trump’s classifieds were on the upand-up. As always.


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Author`s name Petr Ernilin
Editor Dmitry Sudakov