Instruction on how to use bananas in sex approved by All-Russian Banana Party

The All-Russian Banana Party, headquartered in the Russian northern city of Vologda, is seriously concerned with the problem of using bananas in sex. On the one hand, African peoples have long abandoned the ritual of a festive defloration of virgins using bananas, the proceedings of the latest BP session state (as for Russia, the ritualistic intercourse using a bone knob had been abandoned even earlier). On the other hand, it seems impossible to somehow ban a long-rooted habit of modern people to encourage themselves, when in bed, with carrots and bananas. Heated debates which broke out at the above BP session over the issue, were finally subdues by the argument that AIDS was not banana-transmitted. So, the Russians are allowed, from March 8th (International Women’s Day) on to rightfully use bananas for any purpose. The presidium of the Banana Party also approved in the first reading the instruction on a non-target use of bananas, according to IMA-press news agency.The agency, however, retrains from citing the instruction - out of ethical considerations.