Australian married television

The first marriage of a human and a domestic machine has been registered in Australia. Mitch Hellen, who has failed to find a suitable wife, decided to marry his TV. A wide-screen Sony has become his spouse. The wedding ceremony was traditional: a priest and best man were present. However, the role of Mitch himself has not been defined, as it is not clear whether he became a husband or a wife. From a linguistic point of view, both of the newly-married belong to the same gender: they are both male. It is said that Mitch placed a wedding ring on the TV and promised “to love the darling till death do us part.” After that, they were declared husband and wife, without explanations as to who is who.

The decision to marry a television was made by the poor fellow after two unsuccessful marriages with women. In the man’s words, “only a TV-set can really make him happy and never grumbles and swears.” The man stares at the TV-set ten hours a day regardless of what is on.

Translated by Maria Gousseva

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