U.S. President Informed that Doomsday Clock is now 90 seconds before Midnight
Based on reliable sources, the following leaked – Top-Secret – conversation actually happened. The White House has neither, confirmed, nor denied its authenticity much less the identity of the characters that were involved.
Obiden: It is time… Synchronize our clock watches! Watcha got?
Harass: Mine says… 7-Eleven. That would be… Around lunchtime.
Obiden: Hmmmm… Muh timepiece has seemed to stop.
Harass: Did you… Change your battery?
Obiden: C’mon maan. Muh Timex is a plug-in.
Harass: Wouldn’t that be an Apple – i watch – a – Phone?
Obiden: No. It is more like muh hair. One follicle plug at a time!
Harass: Alrighty. Why don’t we just count instead?
Obiden: Mister President… You start.
Harass: 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99…
Obiden: C’mon maan. I only do digit o’s.
Harass: Okay. You start.
Obiden: 1 - 2 - 3…
Harass: Four! She was just seventeen.
Obiden: C’mon maan. That’s muh line!
Harass: Fine. Let’s treat this like a broken clock. It is always right… Twice a day. Right?
Obiden: Wrong. Not on muh swatch! Get it?
Of course, that parody never happened. Right? Or, did it? With the litany of fake news, lies, and circle-backs lately coming out of the White House Press corps as well as from the Lame Stream Media, which follows the Administrative spin to a T, one has doubts. Still, parody or not, the White House’s silence on this troubling development is no laughing matter.
Moreover, consider some late breaking news. China Joe Biden, while addressing a diverse group of Noo Yawkers, claimed Glowbull Warming, and not the prospect of imminent Thermonuclear War with Russia, is America’s greatest existential threat.
Why wouldn’t he. A Green Comet is scheduled to pass directly overhead Joe’s Rehoboth safe house tonight. Astronomers predict that the comet will leave in its wake more revelations: Joe’s possession of classified, top-secret documents, were not confined to just three locations. Turns out, he – like the comet – leaked a trail all across America. Maybe even beyond.
Have this on good authority from Secret Squirrel’s sworn testimony that the writing is now in the sky: Green – 10 percent – greed is slovenly…
Worse yet, China Joe accused Orange Man Bad of his own crime! Suffice to say, President Trump’s classifieds were on the upand-up. As always.
Montresor