Author`s name Dmitry Sudakov

Can bizarre deaths be funny at all?

Life is full of incredible incidents. 29 years ago, on October 23, 1983, in Buenos Aires, a dog fell out of a window of the 13th floor and killed a 75-year-old woman. The onlookers at the scene were hit by a bus, and another woman was killed. A male witness of both tragedies died at the scene of a heart attack.

There are plenty of very real everyday situations that even the most sophisticated screenwriters of soap operas are unlikely to conceive. We will talk about the incidents that are no less picturesque than the one above. A disclaimer: our sincere condolences to the victims of the following incidents and their families.  

The first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin that was to demoralize the defenders killed only an elephant in the city zoo.

In New York, a man was hit by a car. He was not hurt, but a "clever" passerby who witnessed the accident advised him to pretend to be seriously injured and demand compensation. The man agreed, but as soon as he lay down again in front of the car for the police to be able to log the fact of the accident, the car moved and crushed him to death.

A South Korean fisherman was getting ready to sell his catch. He was about to disembowel the fish and raised his knife over it. However, the fish, that turned out to be alive, suddenly waved its tail, causing the sharp weapon to hit the man in the chest. He died on the spot.

New Yorker Julia Carson died of a heart attack - so her doctors thought. During the funeral service, the woman sat up in her coffin and asked what was going on. Her daughter Julie died on the spot from a shock.  

Fifty curious residents gathered on the bridge of Vietnam Ho Chi Minh City to watch a young girl who was going to commit suicide by drowning. The bridge broke down under their weight and they fell into the river. Nine people were killed, and the girl was rescuedю

A ten year old boy had a fight with his father over a missing package of chocolate icing. The fight became emotional, and the desperate 38-year-old father put a knife in the hand of his son saying that if the latter hated him so much, he should hit him. His son did just that. His father died in a hospital an hour later.

A prosecutor Antonio Mendoza from Rome confirmed the old adage: you can laugh at yourself in any situation. Having slipped on the floor tiles in his bathroom, he sat on a cell phone that was brought there and placed in a vertical position by his dog. The surgery to remove the phone from his rear end lasted three hours because the phone's lid opened. During the surgery, the phone rang a few times, and the victim joked about it so much that doctors and nurses could not contain their laughter. 

Bonn resident Peter Gruber was killed while trying to rob the Museum of Art. Having noticed the approaching guards, he panicked and tried to run, but, sharply turning a corner, he came upon a meter long statue with a sword. The exhibit was called "Weapon of justice."

Ukrainian poacher threw electric cable into the river. When the fish killed by the shock surfaced, he went into the water to collect it, forgetting to turn off the power. As a result, he shared the fate of his own catch.  

Four people were brought into a hospital in New York: Shelly Mueller with a head injury, Tim Vegas with a mild concussion, Brian Corcoran with serious damage to his gums and Pamela Klesik missing two fingers on her right hand. It turned out that Mueller was giving a ride to her husband and when saying good-bye showed him her breasts for a second.

Tim Vegas, a driver of a cab that was driving by, saw it. Distracted by the spectacle, he lost control of his car and drove into a hospital building where a dentist Pamela Klesik was inspecting the mouth of her patient Corcoran. The doctor jumped up and injured her patient's gum with her tool. In shock, Corcoran clinched his jaw, biting off the dentist's two fingers. A fragment of the building struck Mrs. Muller on the head.

A circus dwarf, nicknamed Od, died in the circus ring in northern Thailand. Jumping on the trampoline, he bounced back and was swallowed by a hippopotamus Hilda who was yawning at the moment, waiting to get out of the arena. As explained by veterinarians, Hilda had a reflex for large objects in the mouth that made her swallow the performing artist.

But enough of sad news. Here is a story where there are no absurd tragedies and deaths, but only injuries and incredible coincidences. A 79-year old woman in a small village in Russia was in serious car accidents16 times since the World War II without moving away from the gate of his house. The first time, as a child, she was nearly crushed by a tank during the Great Patriotic War.

In the 1950's, she managed to get under a slow moving tractor and fell to the ground right between its wheels. In the 1960s, according to a local legend, she was hit by a car of the head of a local farm. She was fine, but the car's left front headlight was shattered. Several times she was hit by trucks, passenger cars, horse-drawn carts and motorcycles right in front of her own house, yet, never had any significant injuries.

She explained her bad luck by her curiosity as she was wondering what was going on at the road? In the 1980s the cars started detouring the woman's house. She still managed to get hit by a bike of an elderly male in the back of the street where she lived. Interestingly, the man was on his way to propose to her.

After marrying her, the guy took his new wife to the city, away from the mysterious village street with "heavy" traffic. However, her granddaughter who settled in her home repeated her fate. She managed to get hit by a guy on a motorcycle who was on the way for a date with her, holding a bouquet in his hand. The story had a happy ending and they got married. During the wedding she had a cast on her leg, and he had a cast on his left hand. 

Andrey Mikhailov


Read the original in Russian