Author`s name Dmitry Sudakov

Russian communists call to boycott Indiana Jones, a movie for perverts

St. Petersburg communists have spiced up the distribution of a new film about Indiana Jones in Russia. As soon as the film opened in cinemas across Russia, the communists of St. Petersburg called to boycott “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”

In Steven Spielberg’s new film archeology professor Jones competes with Soviet intelligence agents headed by agent Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) who speaks with a Ukrainian accent. The film is set in 1957 during the Cold War.

Spokespeople for the communist movement of St. Petersburg said that the film slandered Soviet intelligence. “With this film the new generation of Russia will obtain a pessimistic mood, uncertainty in the country’s power and idolatry of the USA,” said the statement posted on the website of the movement.

The activists are going to send a letter to the Ministry of Culture with a request to ban the film in Russia. “It is unclear why we should buy a film devoid of any artistic merits, while Russian films acquire no state support. Let Russian enemies watch Spielberg’s low-grade libel on DVDs secretly like perverts,” they said. “American Indians and aliens help Jones and his dubious companions save the world from the Russian threat. That’s disgusting like a paranoid dream of Churchill. We will write a letter to the Committee for Culture to take the film off Russian screens,” Vladimir Muhin, a deputy from St.Petersburg said.

Police lieutenant and communist Veronika Klinovitskaya labeled the film as “a spit in the soul of Soviet people.”

“I remember characters of Soviet films – courageous members of underground organizations, intelligence agents, excellent workers and their inspiring faces that have nothing in common with a predatory face of vicious Cate Blanchett. So I am speechless.”

Communists also demanded the authorities should deprive Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett of an entry permit to Russia. “I want to look in the eyes of Ford. I remember him coming to Russia, eating our bread and salt and admiring Russian women. But in the film he doesn’t make bones about eliminating a Russian woman. Even aliens seem closer to him than Russians,” said another communist, Andrei Gindos.

Another party at fault, actress Cate Blanchett, told the Vedomosti newspaper that most of the Soviet intelligence entourage was made up by George Lucas. “The personality of parapsychology doctor Irina Spalko was developed by the scriptwriter and my imagination; it is not based on anything real. However, George Lucas, the author of the plot, assured me that he knows for certain that at the beginning of the Cold War there was a super secret service in the USSR that specialized in researching paranormal phenomena, telekinesis and remote viewing. My character works there,” the actress said.

When asked whether “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skull” may provoke another outbreak of interest in the subject of the Cold War era and the iron curtain, Cate Blanchett said assuredly that “the political situation in the world won’t let us go back to the past.” The iron curtain provokes suspicion and mysteries; no good dramatic concept can exist without mysteries. “The Cold War helped us make an engrossing movie,” the actress said.

Source: agencies

Translated by Julia Bulygina