The Western Bull Meter goes off the scale

A day after Newsweek magazine published a piece claiming that Ukraine had been invaded by "little green men" sent by Putin "steel in his eyes", striding "purposefully through a field of corn" then followed by a bunch of Russophobic hysteria, now we have the Guardian newspaper, proposing to stop "Putin" "with guns". In a word, war.

The Guardian newspaper (link below), piece entitled "Putin must be stopped. And sometimes only guns can stop guns" is by one Timothy Garton Ash, Oxford University Professor who specializes in Central and Eastern Europe and the transformation from a social economic model to the boom-and-bust elitist "democratic" model we see today, where faceless professional politicians are elected because someone looks better on TV and then spend the next four years feathering their nests pandering to the whims of the lobbies which control Western policy.

The Guardian newspaper, the one which recently published a spoof autobiography of me when commenting on an op-ed piece after the Austrian PM made a jackass of himself without bothering to do any research (The Times, for example, took the trouble to ask me whether the biography in question was true, to which I replied it was written one drunken night in Moscow by a friend of mine after a bottle of vodka and five Baltika 12's each, both of us curled up giggling beside the computer).

So I made a mistake this week calling Newsweek magazine "Wacko rag of the week", for we now have The "Don't bother to do any research, just print it" Guardian and its Oxford University "Timothy Garton Ash" Professor, with a biggest pile of Russophobic, gung-ho and jingoistic bullshit I have read since Tony Blair's British Secret Services told us that Saddam Hussein was procuring "yellowcake uranium". From "Nigeria" (except he wasn't and Nigeria doesn't have any). Never mind, it's far enough away for Guardian readers to swallow it hook, line and sinker, and what the hell, it's in the newspaper so it must be true, eh what?

So here we have The "don't bother to do any research, just print it and what the hell" Guardian, with a piece from a "professor" at a supposedly reputable university claiming that the West should provide military support to Ukraine - guns - and that Putin "is the Slobodan Milošević of the former Soviet Union: as bad, but bigger" who "Behind a smokescreen of lies he has renewed his drive to carve out a puppet para-state in eastern Ukraine".

Moral of the story: Has Oxford University joined that clique of former institutions of excellence which will issue degrees like diplomas from a packet of soap if you pay tens of thousands of pounds for a degree and hundreds of thousands for a doctorate, to be taught by proponents of belligerent insolence, arrogance and ignorance of the caliber we have just read?

One supposes Garton Ash, or whatever he calls himself, has also not bothered to research that President Milosevic was kidnapped by NATO forces and detained illegally against any single precept of Yugoslav Federal or Serbian national law in the sovereign territory of the same, after spending years fighting against the terrorist organization KLA. I would wager that Garton Ash does not even know the name of that organization in Albanian nor why it is also called UCK. Except it isn't. For The "don't bother to do any research, just slap it on the page and what the heck" Guardian and Professor "shoot when you see the whites of their eyes" Garton Ash, Ushtria Çlirimiate e Kosovës is the Kosovo Liberation "Army" in Albanian, a terrorist force which trafficked in human organs, decapitated civilians, raped little girls and committed terrorist attacks against the police.

We can then only assume that by attacking Milošević, Garton "Shoot 'em in the whites of their eyes", "we'll sell you a degree" Ash and The "don't bother to do any research, sod it" Guardian, turn a blind eye to what his enemies were perpetrating, namely slicing the organs out of still living bodies in some cases, and raping little girls. I repeat, and raping little girls.

And now for Garton Ash and President Putin, and the accusations of the Russian President being a liar. That, in my book, is slanderous at the very least. And secondly, let us ask publicly and in the open to "Professor" Ash, to put up or to shut up. What "lies" is he referring to?

I repeat the question to Oxford "Pay us and we'll give you a degree" University Professor Timothy Garton Ash: What "lies" are you claiming President Putin said? And I repeat, PUT UP OR STFU!!

Is he referring to the "lies" about Saddam Hussein producing yellowcake uranium from Nigeria? Is he referring to the "lies" about Saddam Hussein's milk factories being anthrax facilities ready to bomb the West? Is he referring to the "lies" that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and posed an immediate threat to the USA and its Poodles, sorry, "allies"? Is he referring to the "lies" that Muammar al-Qathafi was bombing his own people? Is he referring to the "lies" that the Syrian Government was using chemical weapons (in areas crawling with its own troops)? Is he referring to the "lies" that Russian tanks and armored personnel carriers were rolling over the borders in their thousands? If so, where are the satellite photos, these days when a satellite can pick up a matchbox? If he referring to the "lies" that the Malaysian aircraft was shot down by Russians? 48 hours after that German crackpot murdered 149 people plus itself, we know everything and a year after the MH 17, nothing? How long does it take to doctor a black box, for flip's sake? Is he referring to the "lies" that the Crimea referendum was illegal and was carried out under threat of guns (which is a load of bullshit)?

So what "lies" is Professor Garton Ash of Oxford "My diploma is as worthless as a leaflet from a packet of soap powder" University, and The "print anything you like, don't actually bother to RESEARCH it" Guardian referring to?

And as for the military option, if Mr. Ash (pardon me but after what he wrote I would more easily call a pig "God" than a warmongering belligerent imperialist "Professor") is serious about confronting Russia with guns, then the option and the answer are here in three words: bring it on. Russian military aircraft are the best in the world, two bombing runs in the French Channel have the Royal Air Force scared sh*tless and if Argentina takes back the Malvinas, then the Royal Navy will have to ask the French for their aircraft carrier. Hoin, hoin, hoin, hoin, hoin, eh whatty what what?

As for NATO's ground forces, all they are good for is running screaming in Georgia after the West tried to start another war. And failed, as usual.

So let Mr. "Oink" Ash of Oxford "Gi'us a fiver" University and The "Bugger the research" Guardian next time come up with a piece along the lines of the West increasingly and criminally supporting terrorists to do their dirty work, arranging misfits and criminals from the fringes of the societies they are planning to destroy to install as their future puppets (before they run away with the billions they have been given of Western taxpayers' money), as their elected politicians gain millions from lobbies and to Hell with the people and any form of decency and morals.

And where, pray, is Mr. "Oink" Ash right now? Stirring up trouble in Minsk? Watch this space, ladies and gentlemen, watch this space.

Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey


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*Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey has worked as a correspondent, journalist, deputy editor, editor, chief editor, director, project manager, executive director, partner and owner of printed and online daily, weekly, monthly and yearly publications, TV stations and media groups printed, aired and distributed in Angola, Brazil, Cape Verde, East Timor, Guinea-Bissau, Portugal, Mozambique and São Tomé and Principe Isles; the Russian Foreign Ministry publication Dialog and the Cuban Foreign Ministry Official Publications. He has spent the last two decades in humanitarian projects, connecting communities, working to document and catalog disappearing languages, cultures, traditions, working to network with the LGBT communities helping to set up shelters for abused or frightened victims and as Media Partner with UN Women, working to foster the UN Women project to fight against gender violence and to strive for an end to sexism, racism and homophobia. He is also a Media Partner of Humane Society International, fighting for animal rights.


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Author`s name Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey