Delayed Life Syndrome: Why People Keep Waiting Instead of Living

Many people in Russia face what is known as delayed life syndrome, a condition in which a person constantly lives with the feeling that their current situation is temporary and remains in an expectation of some event — a move, weight loss, employment, and so on. The main cause of this state is the fear of disappointment, practicing psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences Mikhail Khors said, Public News Service reports.

Fear of Disappointment and the Illusion of the Future

People with delayed life syndrome subconsciously fear that their future will not match their expectations, the specialist noted. At the same time, fantasies themselves trigger the release of dopamine, which causes a person to feel pleasure from events that have not yet happened. This reduces motivation, and as a result, the person remains in a "suspended” state.

"What should be done? It is important to grow up. Adults think in terms of measure: "I will enjoy life to some extent, and to some extent I will not, and that is normal.' One needs to tell oneself, more than once, that disappointment in one's goals, achievements, and so on is not something bad, and that in the course of life многое can change — meanings can change, one can enter a crisis,” Khors explained.

Accepting Reality Instead of Escaping into Fantasies

It is important to reconcile oneself with the idea that if something does not meet expectations, life does not become worse because of it, the psychologist emphasized.

He advised replacing both positive and negative thinking with realistic thinking — this allows a person to permit themselves to feel pain, but not perceive it as a tragedy. In addition, it is important not to constantly escape into fantasies that bring pleasure, so that demotivation toward real actions does not arise, the specialist concluded.

The Myth of the Perfect Moment

Earlier, American psychologists found that people often delay returning to activities they enjoy because they subconsciously wait for the "perfect moment” that will make the experience special. Scientists noted that such behavior can lead to long-awaited meetings or развлечения being constantly postponed, as the "right moment” never arrives.