Alright Orange Man, we are in quite the predicament and there is not time to mince words.
Consequently will be no historical anecdotes, no stories of inside politics and no metaphors made.
We're going straight into how your screw-ups led to this, how you're still muffing it, yet also how to save this Zeppelin disaster before things become any worse.
Though I firmly find fault in kicking a man when he's down the fact is sometimes one needs his nose rubbed in the dirt - especially when he refuses to acknowledge he is responsible for his own drubbing.
You Betrayed Nearly Everyone - Whether there is validity in the thesis you entered the Presidential race to sell ties or get another reality show and won by sheer happenstance is immaterial.
Truth be told, you had good instincts but too soon turned your back on everyone who ever helped you get elected. Within a year nearly everyone who was there at the beginning was out.
You shafted your most faithful lieutenants...then whined for three years how you couldn't trust anyone!
Moreover, instead of marshalling forces on Day One by contacting every blogger, correspondent, writer, meme-maker and web-poster to enroll them in a massive propaganda machine you...did nothing.
The joke in Washington became the only way to work in the White House was if you hated Trump.
You Never Built The Wall - While you eventually (mainly in the past six months) got around to putting up a few hundred miles of fence, a fence is not a wall.
After your election Ann Coulter wrote a brilliant column concerning your proverbial First Hundred Days and every one involved this issue.
Apparently, as most leaders of the past fifty years, you believed it more important never to be called "racist" than to concern yourself with doing the work of the nation.
All you ever had to say when anyone, but particularly news media, assailed you was to reply, "We are building exactly what Israel has constructed - and if you disagree you must be Anti-Semitic."
You Messed Up Stimulus - The other thing...in a pandemic...with millions unemployed...and food lines everywhere...was to play around with the Stimulus Bill. During the final month of a national election!
Some said it was only a "negotiating tactic" to walk away from the table - except every day tens of thousands were already casting absentee ballots!
Others that it was to get your Supreme Court pick approved before the contest - except that is akin to a coach strategizing for overtime when he hasn't tied the score in the last quarter!
Still more that it was about protecting the National Debt - except the National Debt would be equally if not more inflated should Biden win the Presidency!
All you needed to do to defuse the situation was state, "I agree to the Pelosi Stimulus budget and in fact I think we should double or triple it...on condition every dollar goes directly to our citizens."
The Speaker of the House would have never consented without all that pork pie politicians love and you could have pounded her every day by saying she was keeping the money of American workers hostage.
Joe Biden - The Great Pretender - many suspect cheated. The public suspects it, the poll workers suspect it, and Republicans suspect it. All you should have done was present the proof in a timely manner.
No Speech Wednesday Morning - What was this "We'll wait and see..." nonsense? The moment you realized disputed states shut down vote counting in the middle of the night you ought to have been claiming collusion, conspiracy and conflict of interest.
At dawn you should have furiously denounced an apparent effort to manufacture votes and, when cheating wasn't enough, complete closing of the count while charlatans took five or six hours to print up, fill out and "discover" enough votes in every single contested state to defeat you.
No Appearance at the Maga March - Where were you the past weekend? On the golf course! Seriously, you need to decide whether you want to win or allow your country to be consumed by jackals.
(If the latter, just realize they will not rest without you being put in prison - that is simply the reality.)
Your failure to appear, to make a rousing speech and to set in motion events to reckon the nation against its enemies was simply unconscionable.
This was the equivalent of Julius Caesar reaching the Rubicon and choosing to shoot dice in his tent.
No Clear Elocution of the Circumstances - When will you figure out a dozen complaints are less effective than one argument? True, we have ample evidence (contrary to Mainstream Media censors) showing ballots being filled out by hostile poll-workers, other election officials boarding up observation areas, the dead voting and many more.
Yet you must indicate one case to make because as decent as the electorate is, they need things to be simple and straightforward before they will respond.
Drop all your moaning about the above (though not the lawsuits) and focus on a solitary thing.
A Prime-Time Address From The Oval Office Immediately - No, the Mainstream Media will not cover it. This is good and helps you. Your main issue is that what allegedly really happened on Election Day...the cheating, the lying, the fakery...is being hidden from the public. Any media boycott bolsters this claim.
Make the speech brief, at about twenty minutes. (Anything more loses attention.) Use graphs, draw them large and in color. (Not more than three.) Present only one argument. (Which is below.)
Public Appearance in Georgia This Weekend - That state has already certified the vote - though the Governor has requested an additional recount.
Except any current certification or potential recount largely does not review ballots for authenticity or signature verification but merely tabulates again.
Because areas pf the state used touch-screen computers this "audit" simply counts whatever the master tape spat out that day. If supposed votes were manufactured by hacking no one would ever know about it.
This is precisely contrary to the intention of a challenge itself.
The operative aspect is to learn how many votes are inauthentic, not an exercise in counting computer tape.
You must appear in person to emphasize the peril of the situation.
Demand Re-Voting In Every State Which Used Flawed Computers - The matter is very simply put, if there is evidence the Dominion computer system skewed votes in even one location in a sizeable amount, as is being widely claimed, then any machine using the software is by definition unreliable.
These machines reportedly counted Trump votes for Biden and have been shown to be insecurely connected to the internet.
There is no legitimacy in "counting all ballots" when the device doing the counting is flawed.
While it may be onerous and unprecedented, the only reasonable remedy will be to vote again in person using paper ballots in every district which used those Dominion voting systems.
If The Pretender legitimately won the election it will be no problem to repeat his victory. If there was substantial fraud, as appears likely, our democracy is too important to be trusted to broken machines.
Nearly everyone in America has used a computer, most have owned a computer, and the majority have had computer issues which upset them - in other words, the public does not trust computers in general.
This is the issue - "We want every ballot counted, but several ballots cannot be guaranteed authentic."
While these recommendations may not ensure you remain in the White House they will do much to solidify your position.
Most importantly, you must act immediately.
Guy Somerset writes from somewhere in America