Sadomasochism heals hidden sexual complexes and fears

Sadomasochism seems to be in fashion these days. Paperbacks on brutal passions involving pain, physical restraint and servitude are published in large numbers. Haute couture designers include in their fashion collections handcuffs studded with paste jewels, pink floggers and collars with huge beaded fasteners.

Sex shops have tons of sex toys and gear for inflicting pain. The web sites destined for the lost and brokenhearted are rife with announcements posted by submissives looking for dominants and vice versa. Many more seem to know what the abbreviation BDSM stands for. Making out in the street is still unsafe for gays if they happen to be in some working-class neighborhood. But the overall attitude of the public toward the sadomasochistic activities seems to have changed.

Being involved in dominant/submissive relationships on a regular basis is often referred to as being “in the lifestyle.” It would be wrong to imagine a lifestyler as a submissive person handcuffed to a radiator, someone who is continually humiliated by a dominant. In actuality, the above practices fall under the category of roleplaying. The partners who are “in the lifestyle” may resemble a somewhat old-fashioned couple of like-minded individuals.

Useful terminology

BDSM is any of a number of related patterns of human sexual behavior. The major subgroupings in this composite abbreviation include: 

- B&D is Bondage and Domination involving physical constraint, tying, role plays, servitude, humiliation and punishment;

- D&S is Dominance and Submission involves non-play dominant/submissive behavior that exceeds the limits of “sensation play”. The partners usually agree on a dominant/submissive pattern prior to engaging in such an activity. 

- S&M means Sadism and Masochism i.e. practices in which physical pain is inflicted for mutual enjoyment. 

- Vanilla (derivative from “vanilla ice cream) is a term used for referring to anything unrelated to BDSM e.g. vanilla man, vanilla relationship, vanilla sex etc. 

-  The emphasis on informed consent and safety is known as SSC (safe, sane and consensual), though others prefer the term RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink), believing that it places more emphasis on acknowledging the fact that all activities are potentially risky;

- In BDSM, a top is a partner who takes the role of giver in such acts as bondage, flogging, humiliation, or servitude. The top performs acts such as these upon the bottom, who is the person receiving for the duration of a scene. Although it is easy to assume that a top is dominant and a bottom is submissive, it is not necessarily so. 

- Switching stands for playing both dominant and submissive roles, either during a single scene or taking on different roles at different occasions with different partners. A switch will be the top on some occasions and the bottom on other occasions.

A bit of history

According to sexologists, almost every person had a share of fantasies (pictures) related to eroticization of power underlying pain, violence and submission at least once. The point is that the manifestations of sexuality in the animals are closely connected with their standing in a pack or flock. The humans inherited this interconnection. It took thousands of years of human history; the invention of romantic love; the establishment of the positions of kings, presidents, generals and heads of departments; the abolition of slavery; the emancipation of women; and the adaptation of the Universal Human Rights Declaration to lessen the strength of the interconnection. The modern human being has no right to aggression and violence (only the state has such a right). However, once banished into the subconscious, aggression and violence tend to break free in the shape of sexual dreams and various esthetic trends.

Though sadomasochism is arguably as old as the human race itself, the origins of the BDSM subculture can be traced back to gay male leather culture, which formalized itself out of the group of men who were U.S. soldiers returning home after World War II. The soldiers apparently felt nostalgic for the wartime thrills because they shared a psychiatric disorder, which is presently called the “Afghan” or “Vietnam” or “Chechen” syndrom. They set up members-only gay clubs with an emphasis on strict formality and fixed roles. The clubs aimed to reconstruct an atmosphere of cruelty, erotism, military hierarchy and discipline. The clubs became the cornerstone of the so-called “Old Guard Leather” subculture. The clubs existed in virtual isolation until the 1970s.

The generation of WWII veterans began to gradually fade away as years went by. The subculture that originated in that group started to come out of the closet, shaking off the air of homosexuality. New Guard leather subculture appeared around the 1990s, which rejected the rigid roles and exclusion of women and heterosexuals of the Old Guard.

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