Sadomasochism heals hidden sexual complexes and fears

Sadomasochism seems to be in fashion these days. Paperbacks on brutal passions involving pain, physical restraint and servitude are published in large numbers. Haute couture designers include in their fashion collections handcuffs studded with paste jewels, pink floggers and collars with huge beaded fasteners.

Photo: Sadomasochism heals hidden sexual complexes and fears

Sex shops have tons of sex toys and gear for inflicting pain. The web sites destined for the lost and brokenhearted are rife with announcements posted by submissives looking for dominants and vice versa. Many more seem to know what the abbreviation BDSM stands for. Making out in the street is still unsafe for gays if they happen to be in some working-class neighborhood. But the overall attitude of the public toward the sadomasochistic activities seems to have changed.

Being involved in dominant/submissive relationships on a regular basis is often referred to as being “in the lifestyle.” It would be wrong to imagine a lifestyler as a submissive person handcuffed to a radiator, someone who is continually humiliated by a dominant. In actuality, the above practices fall under the category of roleplaying. The partners who are “in the lifestyle” may resemble a somewhat old-fashioned couple of like-minded individuals.

Useful terminology

BDSM is any of a number of related patterns of human sexual behavior. The major subgroupings in this composite abbreviation include: 

- B&D is Bondage and Domination involving physical constraint, tying, role plays, servitude, humiliation and punishment;

- D&S is Dominance and Submission involves non-play dominant/submissive behavior that exceeds the limits of “sensation play”. The partners usually agree on a dominant/submissive pattern prior to engaging in such an activity. 

- S&M means Sadism and Masochism i.e. practices in which physical pain is inflicted for mutual enjoyment. 

- Vanilla (derivative from “vanilla ice cream) is a term used for referring to anything unrelated to BDSM e.g. vanilla man, vanilla relationship, vanilla sex etc. 

-  The emphasis on informed consent and safety is known as SSC (safe, sane and consensual), though others prefer the term RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink), believing that it places more emphasis on acknowledging the fact that all activities are potentially risky;

- In BDSM, a top is a partner who takes the role of giver in such acts as bondage, flogging, humiliation, or servitude. The top performs acts such as these upon the bottom, who is the person receiving for the duration of a scene. Although it is easy to assume that a top is dominant and a bottom is submissive, it is not necessarily so. 

- Switching stands for playing both dominant and submissive roles, either during a single scene or taking on different roles at different occasions with different partners. A switch will be the top on some occasions and the bottom on other occasions.

A bit of history

According to sexologists, almost every person had a share of fantasies (pictures) related to eroticization of power underlying pain, violence and submission at least once. The point is that the manifestations of sexuality in the animals are closely connected with their standing in a pack or flock. The humans inherited this interconnection. It took thousands of years of human history; the invention of romantic love; the establishment of the positions of kings, presidents, generals and heads of departments; the abolition of slavery; the emancipation of women; and the adaptation of the Universal Human Rights Declaration to lessen the strength of the interconnection. The modern human being has no right to aggression and violence (only the state has such a right). However, once banished into the subconscious, aggression and violence tend to break free in the shape of sexual dreams and various esthetic trends.

Though sadomasochism is arguably as old as the human race itself, the origins of the BDSM subculture can be traced backtogay male leather culture, which formalized itself out of the group of men who were U.S. soldiers returning home after World War II. The soldiers apparently felt nostalgic for the wartime thrills because they shared a psychiatric disorder, which is presently called the “Afghan” or “Vietnam” or “Chechen” syndrom. They set up members-only gay clubs with an emphasis on strict formality and fixed roles. The clubs aimed to reconstruct an atmosphere of cruelty, erotism, military hierarchy and discipline. The clubs became the cornerstone of the so-called “Old Guard Leather” subculture. The clubs existed in virtual isolation until the 1970s.

The generation of WWII veterans began to gradually fade away as years went by. The subculture that originated in that group started to come out of the closet, shaking off the air of homosexuality. New Guard leather subculture appeared around the 1990s, which rejected the rigid roles and exclusion of women and heterosexuals of the Old Guard.

Games people play

Some people take part in BDSM activities to heal their hidden sexual complexes and fears. To them, sex is something dirty, obscene and shameful that can only involve bad boys and girls, who, in their turn, need tobe punished. Some women may justify their actions by claiming that “I didn’t start it up, I was forced into it by him who beat and humiliated me!” Some men may as well blame it all on tough time in school where “no girls looked in my direction, they always poked fun at me. Now it’s about time I made fun of them…”

Others have been simply bored to death after practicing a missionary position for decades. They are searching for new ways to spice up their lovemaking routine. Some people feel attracted to the subculture and sex fetish paraphernalia.

On a physical level, BDSM “sensation play” often involves inflicting pain, even if without actual injury. This releases endorphins, creating a sensation somewhat like runner’s high or the afterglow of orgasm, sometimes called “sub-space”, which many find enjoyable. Some writers use the term “body stress” to describe this physiological sensation. Yet those who dream of achieving “sub-space” should not be under the impression that any person who has been bound or whipped in the “right way” is guaranteed to experience something akin to utmost bliss. Moreover, “sub-space” is rare among the majority of sadomasochists. Every person may or may not have his own key to trigger mind-altering processes. BDSM activities are one out of many rather peculiar options on the table.

Not unlike in any other case, this coin has its flip side too. Trans-like conditions are thought to be addictive and may result in psychological and physiological dependence. One may be hooked on BDSM play just like others become addicted to drugs, fast cars, the Internet, and games of chance. Masochosts use a special term – Hunger with a capital “h” – for describing a certain condition of a person who has been withdrawn from receiving his another portion of pain.

Sadomasochists seem to have plenty of imagination and creative powers. They wrap up one another in food plastic (mummification); use close-fitting latex gear and sleeping bags for similar purposes; apply such implements as whips (flaggelation) and canes or paddles (erotic spanking); drip hot wax, put clothespins and drive needles through the private parts. Lifestylers can be also bound with rope, chains, straps, cling wrap, handcuffs or other materials. The tools of BDSM play encompass a wide variety of items from specifically designed implements to ordinary household items. Other BDSM activities involve drowning, strangling, trampling, and a number of roles plays (petplay and ponyplay, doctors and nurses etc.) Some BDSM enthusiatss derive pleasure from playing the British public school, the Gestapo, the army. Others enjoy being used as live footstools and coffee tables.

Medportal

Translated by Guerman Grachev
Pravda.ru

Join the online discussion on Pravda.ru Forum for free